Embracing Discomfort: Overcoming Shyness

Eight months of dedication to our podcast has taught me an invaluable lesson about the beauty of resilience and the celebration of personal victories. Today, I'm thrilled to share a particularly poignant story that mirrors our collective journey through life's challenges — my eldest daughter's courageous battle with shyness. Her triumph is a testament to the strength we find when we confront our fears, and it sets the stage for our deep dive into the transformative power of embracing discomfort.

As we navigate the uncertain tides of content creation, particularly with the looming threat of a TikTok ban, I offer a candid take on the creative process and the anxiety that often accompanies it. This episode isn't just about the hurdles we face as creators, but also about the profound impact of platforms like TikTok on our financial and creative independence. Join me as we explore what it means to produce authentically, appreciate our loved ones, and prioritize our mental health in a world where adaptability is not just a skill, but a necessity.

Chapters

• 0:06 Pushing Through Uncomfortable Situations
• 13:54 Navigating Uncertain Waters

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome. Welcome back to another episode of uploaded and unfiltered, the podcast in which I, your host, jermaine, talks about the creative journey and the creative journeys of others. Thus far, if you're a longtime listener, you probably noticed there have been a few changes to the format of the podcast. I'm starting to introduce more solo focused podcasts to drop a bit of information and knowledge to help us on our creative journey, to keep that train going. Today I have two topics I want to talk about, the first being pushing through that stickiness, that that icky feeling we feel when we are about to do something we've never done before. Pushing through that to the other side to get what we want, our goals tackled and our goals achieved, as well as the TikTok ban. I will be talking about the potential impending TikTok ban, what I think about it and mostly about the thoughts I have on the creators who are still creating on that platform. So let's go ahead and get into it.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Life has been amazing lately. I've come through with a few new ideas for the podcast. My foray into video podcasting last week helped me a lot. It helped me understand a few things that I want to get done, a few things that I'm going to do differently and a few ways to actually market the podcast in a new and fun way. At least for me, this journey has been so, so rewarding so far, and I can't believe it's only been eight months, and that's eight months of not missing a week of the podcast. So I'm gonna go ahead and congratulate myself. Remember it's very important to seek out or acknowledge your achievements. Not only acknowledging them will bring them to mind and tell yourself, tell your brain, that hey, more stuff like this, I want this to happen, more Show that enjoyment, enjoy the win and push forward. So that's what I'm doing right now. Eight months, no missed podcast. I'm super proud of that. I'm still amazed that it happened, but I'm not surprised. So, anyways, um, again, the first thing I want to talk about this week is pushing through the uncomfortableness to get to the other side of what you want, and what I mean by that is. Today was a perfect example laid out in front of me with my oldest daughter. So it's story time, as you could have guessed.

Speaker 1: 2:48

So this Sunday, my wife had a meetup for her employees at her office that she owns yes, she owns her own building. So she had a meetup, a potluck, if you will. There was pizza, there were cupcakes, there were food, food, and it was employees gathering together like-minded individuals and just enjoying these others company. I don't think it was anything work related. I'm sure they talked about work because that's what you do when you get around people who do the same thing you do and enjoy, you talk about that stuff. So if I go to twitchcon which I do plan on going to twitchcon this year I will be talking more likely about streaming stuff with other streamers. Stuff like that is fun. So, anyways, wife was having a good time.

Speaker 1: 3:32

I had to go up there and fix a few things, because not only am I the husband but I'm also the IT professional I think my official title is director of it, of something of that nature. Um, real easy stuff, thankfully, and it's all based on my recommendation because I'm the one in charge, so I love that. Anyways, I uh fix. She has a digital, a digital signage. Uh, it's basically a raspberry pi that displays information that she's made in Canva. It looks super professional. It's a little janky to get onto the Wi-Fi. I'm still trying to figure that out, but the idea is, when she wants to make changes to it, she can do so off an app on her phone and it should update the box seamlessly. But we're working towards that. Actually, this was not about that device. This is about me fixing things. I also had to fix a exit sign battery which we found out we got the wrong one, so that should be coming soon. Anyways, there was a ton of food there Nice, lovely goodies, things that you would see at a party and my wife has my two daughters twice Well, multiple times. Hey, do you want to go in there and get something? Now? Keep in mind not that I've shared this, but I'm sharing it now.

Speaker 1: 4:51

My girls are kind of shy. I would say my youngest one is real quick to get over that shyness If there's something on the other side that she wants. So she understands the power that our minds have and how we can push through things when we want to. When we are motivated correctly, we will push through any mental break to get to the other side. My oldest daughter is like I was when I was her age super, super stubborn. Once she gets something into her mind, that's it. There's no changing her mind, and I both applaud and when you know what? I applaud her for having that mindset because it will pay off for her in the future. We just need to get her to see that sometimes the stubbornness is on something like what. You realize that, hey, I'm being stubborn for not a good reason. This time it's OK to revert, it's OK to admit that, hey, maybe I should have been so stubborn about this and go the opposite direction.

Speaker 1: 5:47

So my daughter does not like to go in front of people. Uh, people love her. She's great, she has a great personality, she's funny, she is very kind. But she just does not like interacting with people that she doesn't really know, especially strangers. So I was hyping her up the whole time. I'm like listen, all these adults, they're nervous about being around you. They're probably thinking, oh, what is she going to think about me? So you don't even have to worry about that. Plus, you're the daughter of the owner of the company. They're going to be kissing your butt this entire time. And of course she laughed a little bit.

Speaker 1: 6:20

But I was like but really, other than that, what's what's going on? What's what's stopping you? If you give me a good reason, then I won't. I won't even ask you about it anymore, I won't push you to go in there. And so her first reason was there's a lot of people. I was like, ok, cool, cool. What do you mean by there's a lot of people? And she's like there's a lot of people and she's like there's just a lot of people. And I was like, okay, then what does that mean? And we just sat there for five minutes. I was like there's no rush, like I want you to really think about what does that mean in regards to you going in there and getting some pizza or getting a cupcake. And at the end of five minutes, she couldn't. We both agree.

Speaker 1: 6:59

It's like, okay, that's not a good reason. We couldn't have it. We couldn't think of a reason why there's a lot of people would prevent us from going in there. I was like what's gonna happen? You're not gonna die, you're not gonna pass out. Nobody in there and, mind you, this is a room full of therapists. Nobody in there is gonna make fun of you, so that's not gonna happen. Um, I can't think of any. I can't think of anything else, like nothing. I don't think. I can't think of any. I can't think of anything else, like nothing. I don't think I can't think of anything bad. Just going to stop the party and be like, oh, you did this thing, oh my God. So we wiped that one off.

Speaker 1: 7:33

The second one was she's like oh well, I had a popsicle earlier, so my girls are awesome and amazing and we try to keep them from eating a bunch of sugar. So her argument was they already had a popsicle today, so I can't have a cupcake. And I was like nah, that's not a good reason. You know, getting well, when it's thanksgiving, you're eating seven or eight sweets without, without caution, no thoughts at all. So, and plus, I'm saying you can have a cupcake, especially if you're gonna go in there and get it yourself. She's like so. I was like so is that a good reason? And we both agreed Nah, okay, that's, that's not a good reason.

Speaker 1: 8:07

So her third reason was oh, I'm trying to watch my sugar intake. And I was like all right, cool, so you're cool with me telling you not to eat sugar for at least till Sunday, sunday's Easter. Of course we're going to have some candy on Easter. But I was like so if you want, I can help you out with that easy. I'll just not let you have any sugar until Sunday. And, of course, her fear of going in there always eating sugar. So she was like, yeah, let's do it. And I was like, all right, so, first off, that is not a challenge. You telling me that you want me to stop you from eating sugar and you want to see if you can do it. I was like that's not a challenge, like you just got to listen to me and thank God you are a great listener so, no, we're not going to do that.

Speaker 1: 8:53

I was like the challenge is you doing it yourself, you having the willpower to say, hey, I don't want sugar, I don't want to have any sweets, I don't want to have any cupcakes, none of that. And making it till sunday. And she's like, all right, fine, because again, she's stubborn and she doesn't think that I'm gonna. She doesn't know how stubborn I am. I'm gonna keep her to it. Maybe probably not, because I know she doesn't want to do it and I don't want to do it. And I'm trying to get her to understand that saying hey, I don't want to do this doesn't make you weak. It doesn't mean you failed. It means that, hey, I could do this if I wanted to, but I don't want to. The will is not there.

Speaker 1: 9:32

So eventually I hyped up enough, I, we talked it out. It took about a good 10 minutes, and I think it was mostly because she didn't want her mom to play uh videos of her on a big screen tv which you know like, part of me thinks she wouldn't have did that, but then the other part of me thinks she definitely would have did that. So who knows? But it was enough that she at least went through with it. She went in there she wasn't there a good like two, three minutes, got a cupcake.

Speaker 1: 10:02

I'm pretty sure my wife stopped her to say something. But she came back to the room and I was like how do you feel? And she's like good, and I was like so what happened? Like, did you fall? Did somebody make fun of you? She's like no. I'd like, did anybody even say anything to you? She's like no, and I'm like so what did you get from that? And she said and this warmed my heart, this solidified, not that I was thinking I wasn't, but this is just another reason that made me think okay, you are doing great as a father, you're doing good work.

Speaker 1: 10:34

She said sometimes I have to do hard things to get what I want, especially when I know nothing bad is going to happen out of it. And I was. I just looked at her. I was like, yes, yeah, I would have gave her a big hug. Where she's superior, don't touch me sometimes. I didn't want to push it, but I was like demon. I'm like that's what I'm talking about. All right, cool, cool, cool. So, with that being said, let's flip it to content creation.

Speaker 1: 10:59

There are definitely things in life and before I get into it, I the thing that really stuck out with me is I knew there was nothing gonna happen if she went in there like I envisioned her going in there getting cupcake coming back. So I knew she was gonna do it. And her little sister knew that she was gonna do it. And her little sister again sugar is one of her main motivations in life. So she was like at first, she's like I don was going to do it. And her little sister again sugar is one of her main motivations in life. So she was like at first she was like I don't want to do it. She was like, oh, you need cupcakes. She definitely had like two or three brownies and cupcakes and chocolate. But whatever man, she got over her fear and now we know what her motivation is.

Speaker 1: 11:37

But my daughter, my oldest daughter, was physically like shaking, because she didn't want to go in, like share her whole body with tense up when the thought of going in there and like every time, I would ask her so what's going to happen? What's going to happen? Consciously, of course, she couldn't think of anything, but subconsciously I don't know what happened at school or it was some event that I missed in her life that has put that feeling inside her, that meaning of hey, if you go in a room with a lot of people, that equals something that's not good. But I do intend to work with her and figure out what it is so we can break that. But it was a physical reaction. It was her reacting to a future that didn't exist because it hadn't happened. This was all thoughts in her head. These are all things she was thinking that could occur if she went in there, and those thoughts physically made her react to doing so. So I didn't tell her this because I didn't want to go too deep into it.

Speaker 1: 12:39

But we got to remember that our brain does not know the difference between imagination, between something that we thought of or something that actually truly happened. It doesn't understand past, present or future. Everything is in the present for our subconscious. So, when we are thinking about future events and we are physically reacting and emotionally reacting, that's because our subconscious believes that those things are truly actually happening. And this is what I mean when I say we should don't focus on what we don't want to happen. Let's focus on the things we do want to happen. Let's focus on the positive things that we want to occur in our lives because of the things that we do, because the positive things that we want to occur in our lives because of the things that we do, because of the things that we create, because of the people we interact with and because of the people who we have become, I think focusing our energy on that stuff is far better than focusing on, oh my God, what could happen. Because again, those things physically have us change and those physical changes might happen, just body might be, just mood, but that's going to change your interactions with the people around you, all because of something that you are worried about.

Speaker 1: 13:54

And again, I don't think feelings like that suit us. They don't. There's not useful is feelings like those, that feeling of anxiousness. It's not something that I think is needed and necessary. So, when it comes to pushing out that new content or working on an idea that you've been thinking about for weeks, but you are hesitating because there are too many people in a room or there are too many people who have eyes on the content that you're creating and they might say something about it. We need to push past those feelings to the other side so we can be like, oh, nothing happened. That's happened so many times in my life, especially in content, that I no longer have that feeling. Every once in a while it pops up, but I'll quickly remember oh yeah, I'm just going to push through this because my other side is a lesson If I mess up or be the goal that I want to achieve. Either way, I'm learning and I'm moving forward and, like, just that thought alone has excited me and has me pushing forward with the content that I want to create.

Speaker 1: 15:05

So the last thing I want to talk about is in regards to the TikTok ban. That could potentially be happening. As we all know, there are a lot of people who have made a living on TikTok, who have been able to quit their full-time jobs and make small businesses online because of TikTok shops or maybe just because of their content. In general, it's been lucrative and I don't want to say that. There are people out there who see this and they're like, hey, these people are getting independent from the systems we have created. We got to get rid of this. I don't want to jump into conspiracy theories there's a lot of them out there but I will say this If it comes down to TikTok having to sell to an American company or being banned in the US, tiktok the US only makes up I think it was 10% of the user base of TikTok, which, money-wise, is not enough for them to sell the intellectual property to a company in the us.

Speaker 1: 16:06

So they would forgo having us users, unfortunately, and they will just get themselves banned. Business wise, that's what makes the most sense and, unfortunately, unless something changes which I do think I can't tell you why, but but again, I'm in this world of positivity I do think that they won't ban it and I do think that they won't sell, because I don't want them to sell to an American company for a host of reasons. But I think there's going to be some type of loophole there. The government, the Senate, someone's going to realize, hey, we have a lot of Americans making money on this app and if we ban it, then we're going to have a larger problem on our hands. So I don't think it's going to get banned.

Speaker 1: 16:50

Regardless, a lot of people do think it's going to get banned, and for those people who do think that and who continue to make content on TikTok, I want to say that characteristic is the one of someone who knows exactly what they want out of life and knows that what they believe in is going to happen one way or another. They're not letting the impending possibility of a ban stop them from creating content. They're pushing forward and they're making content. Some of them are making content about the ban, which I think is hilarious, but others are still pushing forward with their content they've been making. Now, tiktok is not the only place you can put this content.

Speaker 1: 17:31

Yes, a lot of people solely make content on TikTok because I feel like, for some reason, it's easier for them to make money here. But they will have to get into the mindset of hey, I got to move my content elsewhere If I'm going to continue the lifestyle that I've created for myself. I think that's going to be a large uh large shift for a lot of people, but I do think the fact that they're still making content in the midst of this potential ban is a positive thing. I think it's a a sign of hey, they're willing to do the hard things and they are capable of shifting when need be, when, when the time comes. So I just hope everybody out there who is making content for TikTok do not be worried, do not fret about whatever the outside algorithm, the ban or all that bullshit is about to happen. You're going to continue to make content somewhere, like.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Tiktok is not the only place to create it. So don't let that discourage you from creating content and don't stop Like. If you've been making content on TikTok and you just now find a groove like keep pushing, because you never know what's going to happen and, like I said, who knows what Instagram is going to do? Maybe they're like hey, tiktok is getting banned. We're just going to open up the rule set so it matches what TikTok was doing. So, as far as uploading videos, they'll let you do longer than 90 seconds, all that fun stuff. Again, you don't know what's going to happen. So let's just band together, stay positive, keep a positive mindset and think you know what Something dope is going to happen out of this. I don't know what, but that's what we're moving towards.

Speaker 1: 19:12

I just wanted to drop those few things that were on my mind. I'm starting to enjoy this solo podcasting. I could just talk about whatever I want, and nobody can stop me. I love that. Anyways, I hope y'all had an amazing weekend. As always, tell your loved ones you love them. Make sure that the people that you appreciate and make a difference in your life know that they make a difference in your life. Don't be stingy with that information and, as always, protect your mental. Keep creating content. I'll talk to you in the next one. Peace. Thank you for listening this deep into the podcast. I truly do appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 20:13

If you enjoy what you heard and you want to get this podcast to a state where I can actually make even more changes in creators' lives, please share the podcast with those that you know. They probably can get some enjoyment or some information from the podcast. Head over to upunbuzzsproutcom, that is, u-p-u-nbuzzsproutcom, to check out where the podcast is hosted. On that website there will be a variety of different places where you can actually subscribe to the podcast and if you do subscribe, I would appreciate a rating and a review on whatever platform you listen to this on.

Speaker 1: 20:53

On whatever platform you listen to this on. Those ratings and those reviews. Help the podcast elevate into a higher level so I can become more discoverable in searches and things of that nature. Also, check out the website uploadedandunfilteredcom if you want to check out every guest that's been on the podcast, as well as links to their content as well. Last but not least, if you want to financially support the podcast, you can do so at buymeacoffeecom. Slash uploaded and unfiltered. Set up a donation site there. All money that goes there will be directly poured back to the podcast to help for hosting and things of that nature. Again, thank you for listening. This has been a project that I have dreamed about building and it is here and we're doing it, and I am nothing but excited for its future. Until then, I'll see y'all in the next one. You