Uploaded and Unfiltered: Conversations about Personal Growth, Mindsets, and Advice with BIPOC Creators for Creators

Letting Go of Unnecessary Emotions

• Jermaine Pulliam • Season 1 • Episode 47

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Ever wonder how to keep your cool in the chaos of daily life? In this special solo episode of Uploaded and Unfiltered, I share my secrets for treating events as neutral and focusing emotional intensity on true emergencies. Discover how maintaining a positive outlook and reevaluating our reactions can help conserve our mental energy for what truly matters. Plus, get an exclusive sneak peek into my contemplation of adding video podcasts next season!

In this heartfelt episode, I also take you through my personal journey with meditation and mindfulness, revealing how these practices have profoundly influenced my ability to stay present and emotionally balanced. Experience the unexpected ways I've found calm, even in activities like gaming, and learn how you too can reduce stress and improve mental clarity. 

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Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome back to Uploaded and Unfiltered, the podcast in which I, your host, interviews another content creator in regards to their journey thus far. Today is one of those days where we do a solo episode because I got some stuff I want to talk about and I didn't set up another guest for another couple of weeks. So here we are. It's time to learn. Before I get started. I just want to thank everybody who's listened thus far. We are rounding in on the year mark. Uploaded and unfiltered has almost been up for a whole entire year and I got to say I haven't missed, missed a week. I've hit every week since I started this podcast and I don't see any end in sight. At some point I'm sure I'll take a break, but I right now I'm deciding on what the next season, season or next year of Uploads and Unfiltered is going to look like. I'm thinking about diving into doing real video podcasts. Right now, the video gets recorded. I'm thinking about diving into doing real video podcasts. Right now the video gets recorded. I'm saving all those. You know what? I might throw those up on a Patreon. I'll think about that, but I'm thinking maybe possibly next season to start doing video podcasts. The only reason I'm hesitant is I don't want to edit it, but I need to change my thinking about that.

Speaker 1:

And speaking of, let's just go ahead and jump into the topic right now. The topic of today is how we should react to events, scenarios, different things that pop up in our life. Now, I've been saying this since the beginning of the year. Maybe I've said it before that, but definitely at the beginning of the year. Maybe I've said it before that, but definitely at the beginning of this year. I am treating the rest of my existence as me being as delusional as possible, and what that means is anything I think of, anything that I want out of life, anything that I put my mind and time and effort into, it's going to come to fruition, it's going to come out. So, with that, I can't. You can't just say that and be like all right, let's get to go. You got to break everything down and make sure that you're doing it on the lowest level that you can.

Speaker 1:

And one of those ways is is how we interact or react to events or anything that pops up in our life. How we initially respond to that event could be saving us a bunch of energy, a bunch of mental space that we don't have to spend on worrying about other stuff. But let me slow down and explain what I mean. So what I mean is every event. Let's say somebody steps on my shoe. Think about that. Not everybody, some people wouldn't react like this, but some people, if somebody steps on their shoe, they instantly get upset, they instantly get mad, they instantly react without any thought. And to treat every event as neutral would be in this scenario is to notice that your shoe got stepped on and then look around for more information. The information gathering is a piece that will tell you what your next reaction should be. Now we can't be like that with you know what I don't want to say that it is harder to be neutral with events that we already have an automatic reaction for. If somebody snatches my child at Disney World, I'm running panic mode. Flight, or flight I'm in there.

Speaker 1:

I think scenarios like that is warranted for, but for things that are future placed, I think anything but positive is a waste of time and causing your present self all types of anxiety and stuff that you don't want. For instance, let's say that next week you have a big speech plan. You haven't spoken in front of anybody in like 10 years. But next week somebody asked you to come over. Hey, we are trying to find content creators, we want to sponsor them. $10,000 a pop. For every video you put up, you get $10,000, but you need to give a speech in front of 500 people and tell them why we should pick you Now to look at that event and worry about it. Have any type of anxiety or anything, fear towards that event is a waste of time and I'm going to try to convince you of that. I know some of you out there are like no I, it's okay to worry, you can worry about stuff like that, but check this out.

Speaker 1:

So I've been doing some research and I feel like there are feelings out there, emotions out there, rather, that are useless. I would say, like 95% of the time, 95% of the time, we don't need these emotions. These emotions are used for emergency purposes only. They are meant to cause different changes in our body, so we react in certain ways to ensure that we stay alive. Listening to that, hearing that, before I mention the emotions, do you think having a system turned on in situations where it's not an emergency, where your life isn't in danger, do you think having those systems on is a smart thing, is a beneficial thing. I would argue that it's not. These things I'm about to mention take up resources as far as your energy, take up mental space can cause physical issues to your body and for those reasons, this is why I think that we should try as hard as possible to put those feelings and emotions in check and utilize them when we need them. So those four emotions are anger, anxiety, worry and fear. These four emotions elicit a flight or fight response in us when we are feeling them.

Speaker 1:

Now think about the times where you feel angry. Let's say you were in a grocery store and somebody got the last, uh, last, tub of ice cream. I mean that wouldn't make me angry, but for some people that would make them angry. Do you think a fight or flight response is necessary in that situation? A fight or flight response is necessary in that situation? No, I don't think. Yeah, don't be crazy. No, it's not. This is where treating that event as neutral until you have more information is a thing that we should start implementing Because, say, in that same situation, this person got the last of ice cream and you was really looking for it for ice cream.

Speaker 1:

You can look at that event and be like, all right, we're out of ice cream. I wanted really looking forward for ice cream. You can look at that event and be like, all right, we're out of ice cream. I wanted it, but you know what? That's okay and keep it moving. Don't allow yourself to get upset. Don't allow yourself to get angry. But what if you walked around the corner and you know how they put ice cream on the in aisles? I don't like, I guess, because they're on sale or something. Let's imagine the ice cream you were looking for was right there. You walked around the corner, boom, it's there. Had you been angry, you would have expensed that energy and felt those emotions and your blood pressure would have went up for no reason. But you got to walk around the corner in neutral land and see the ice cream and just be happy. Just get the benefit of being happy, elated, grateful, get that positive energy going and you don't even have to worry about the other side because you weren't starting to treat things as neutral. I hope that makes sense.

Speaker 1:

So there are a few things that occur when these anger, anxiety, worry and fear emotions pop up in our body that are meant to again put our body into best scenario mode to get the fuck out of here or beat the shit out of this thing that's trying to get me so I survive. That's what these emotions are for Increased heart rate and blood pressure. Your muscles tense up, you start rapid breathing, sometimes you might start sweating and then your stomach starts getting upset. Now the reason why I believe and I believe I was told this. Correct me if I'm wrong. Go ahead and send an email in, or you can actually text the podcast now. If you check the description of the podcast, there should be a link in there. You can send some text messages to the podcast and I will read them online out loud into this microphone anyways.

Speaker 1:

But digestive changes. I feel like when you are angry, the last thing you're thinking about is eating food. So I feel like your brain just like nah, we don't need to route any resources to that section. We need to focus on getting this threat out of our face. So again, these things are what happens during a flight or flight response, and they are tied to anger, anxiety, worry and fear. I again argue and say that these things are not necessary.

Speaker 1:

Experiencing these feelings for a prolonged period of time can lead to things like high blood pressure, which puts you at a higher risk of heart disease, stroke and other problems like that. If we are treating every event that pops up in our life as neutral and trying to attempt to do it for everything, that is a huge. That's like taking medicine to help avoid heart disease or any high blood pressure. But the other benefit is I feel like the energy needed to be angry, to be anxious, to worry, to be fearful, is a greater quantity than the energy it takes to be happy. I feel like the energy that it takes to be happy and be grateful is replenishing. Filling those feelings not only keeps you in a good mood and makes you better for everyone who has to deal with you in your life, but it also replenishes your soul. It also gives you the extra boost you need to finish that podcast episode, to go edit that last video that you have been trying to edit for the last three weeks, but you didn't have the energy to.

Speaker 1:

I feel like being happy and grateful in your life and everything that you have in it provides energy to tackle the things that you love to do. So when you're thinking about implementing this in your own life yeah, it's a challenge, but I think it's a challenge worth tackling. My goal is either get to a point where anger, fear, worry, anxiousness no longer are things that I am capable of feeling. That's what I'm trying to get to. It's a lofty goal, but it's fun. It's been fun so far. Now I would be remiss to not provide ways to start moving towards that goal and how there are a few things you can do to make doing this process easier.

Speaker 1:

I found that the more clear my mind is, the more in the present that I am, the easier it is to do what exactly what I'm saying. So if you are a person who is constantly worrying, constantly thinking about things that need to get done, constantly thinking about the things that you didn't do, just constantly thinking your brain, brain never turns off. Having that little time of pause to react to events neutral is going to be a challenge. I found that the more again, the more clear I am in any given day. Anything that pops up, I am treating it as neutral. I used to hate traffic. I'm cool with that. Now, like I, I'm like oh, there's gonna be traffic, it doesn't faze me, like I don't get angry, like it's, it's so, so bizarre. What else the dish, like doing chores not that that made me angry, but I didn't. There was like just agitation to doing it. Now it's just hey, it gets to get done.

Speaker 1:

And because I've been meditating for a good part of this year, like fully 20 minutes a day just letting my mind calm down and time out and just rest, I'm enjoying those quiet moments. I'm enjoying doing things like errands or driving to go pick up the groceries Like I enjoy that, that quiet time, because I'm spending that time meditating. You don't have to close your eyes and hum and moan to meditate, as long as you're quiet and you're focused. That's essentially what meditation is, and you know what while we're here, and you know what? While we're here spoiler alert there were times as a gamer where I am fully locked in, and you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anybody who's played Elden Ring out there has felt this. There were times where you were fully locked in on a task at hand. I'm going to tell you something that you probably didn't know, but that is basically what meditation is. Tell you something that you probably didn't know, but that is basically what meditation is.

Speaker 1:

Meditation is closing out everything in your mind and focusing on one specific thing they tell you to do your breathing, because that's easy to do. You know you can hear your breath and you know I'm gonna focus on that and that does help you meditate. But I have this device called a muse headband and it basically reads your brainwaves as you're meditating and I have years of data to prove. I got to do it while I play a video game one day. But like I get to a state where I know I know what the feeling of being in meditation is, and then I go focus on one task in that meditation. So let's say, I got a video coming up and I don't really know how I want to do it. I don't have any ideas for it. I'm going to go take my ass somewhere, meditate for 20 minutes, get into that state it usually takes me about two, three minutes and then when I'm in there, I'm focusing in on the task that I want to knock out. What is it going to look like? What's the shots going to look like? All that fun stuff.

Speaker 1:

So meditation is has a bunch of benefits, but for the purpose of this conversation, meditation helps you quiet your mind, so when events that usually would be negative and upset you pop up, you're able to look at it as a neutral event. You're able to look at it and be like you know what. There is nothing attached to this moment right now, except for you just told me I have a $5,000 bill that I need to pay to the hospital. Typically, most people will go either into worry or fear or anger. They go into those three as soon as they hear hear something like that me, I'm looking at it as neutral. Okay, right now, if I don't, like I don't know anything about this, like there's no reason for me to get upset, do I have this money to pay for it? Maybe I don't know, I didn't even look, but right now you're telling me this. I'm just going to look at it and then you can. We are creators. You can create any outcome.

Speaker 1:

You want to make the scenario work for you, but there is zero reason for you to be anxious as soon as that is said, because you maybe it was to the wrong person, maybe there was a error by the bank and you really don't owe that money. You would have let yourself get angry or anxious, worried or feared that you might lose something for no reason. Please stop that. I promise you you will be happier if you tackle some of these things. That just piss us off immediately. I promise you these, these emotions are not necessary. And if you only take one thing from this, please remember anger, anxiety, worry and fear. They increase fight or flight response in a body. If you don't know what fight or flight is, go look that up. It's usually only, it's only necessary for emergency purposes. Only Now, imagine all the emergency purposes that you had in your life. Imagine all the times that you've been anxious or worried or pissed off or scared of something. Did you need the flight or flight response in those times? If not, then come with me, join me on this side of neutrality neutral, neutral events, because nothing has meaning until you give it meaning.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so before I go, I'm just going to put this in your head. So again, I think the more you allow your brain to look at different ways of thinking, different ways of making content, the more you just explore and be open to exploring. Your brain is basically picking up pieces of different like recipes. You're like OK, ok, get this, get this, and then all of your life experiences you already have inside. You start pulling some of those things and mixing with it and then, before you know it, you have something brand new that is all yours, that you can do whatever you want with it. Took me a while to realize that that just consuming more content, consuming more ideas, allows it to germinate and mix with the cool shit that I already have inside me and amazing things happen. Have you ever noticed? I'll say this whatever we put our attention to will be drawn to us. Whatever we put our attention to, we become more abundant in our life. And here's a simple everybody has probably experienced this example to show you how it works. And then I'll allow you to be creative, because we are creators and make that work for you. So have you ever noticed that?

Speaker 1:

Let's say, either you got a new car, your friend got a new car, somebody you know got a new car and it's a car you've never heard of in your life. Oh, this is a Ford fusion, a fucking what. I've never seen a Ford fusion in my life. And guess what happens for the next week? While you're driving around town, you see a fucking Ford week. While you're driving around town, you see a fucking Ford Fusion. And you're what? Now do you think? They just all of a sudden appeared Like there was never a Ford Fusion until your friend picked that car up and now they're all over the goddamn place. No, that's not what happened.

Speaker 1:

Your brain started paying attention. Your subconscious is basically like, oh, ford Fusion, I never even heard of that car and you've never seen one. I guess you want to see one. And then it starts showing you every fucking forward fusion that you've ever seen. You'll see 15 forward fusions in the same day and you're like, wow, this is crazy. It's because your brain decided to allow you to see, provide you with the information you were asking into your life. Do with that information what you will.

Speaker 1:

Again, because I am focused on being positive. I am focused on not being angry, not being upset, not being anxious that only amazing things have been coming into my life, like everything is starting to line up, my business is starting to fall into place, I just realized. So, on that note, I am taking a I think it's a six weeks course. It's called rapid resolution therapy. It's a talk therapy. I don't want to think no, I don't want to say it's a talk therapy. It's a therapy that basically helps people get out of their stucknesses like anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, stuff like that without having to relive the traumas that cause those shits, or without having to feel the feelings. I think feeling you got to feel it to heal it. It's a bunch of bullshit. I don't think that is necessary.

Speaker 1:

I do believe that events that pop up in our life because we have attached meaning to it, because we were not neutral when they occurred, some of those events have meaning attached to them. Some of them events have meaning attached to them. Some of them anger, fear, and they have entered into our database, into our brain, incorrectly. That data is corrupted and we need to fix it. And rapid resolution therapy is that fixed Like there's.

Speaker 1:

The reason why I gravitated towards this is because I've been living my life a certain way. My entire life, I have never, ever felt resentment. I didn't learn until about three days ago what resentment was, and resentment is basically anger, unchecked anger. You're angry at somebody in a moment and you never either forgave them or you just stay angry. That's what resentment is. I don't know what the fuck. I never felt that up until the incident that happened in my corporate job. I never felt panic attack. I never felt to that level.

Speaker 1:

But I think, again, these are all things that are useless for the most part. Again, these are all things that are useless for the most part. I think us as creators would do way better. We'd be way more beneficial to not ever feel these feelings again. Unless you're a horror streamer, then maybe fear you might need, but other than that, these are feelings that I think we can do without, and I've seen so many close streamers like deal with a bunch of these stuff and I I've been sitting on my hands not helping. I've been sitting on my hands not going through what I need to do to get where I need to go to start providing help for these people, and that's my fault, my bad, I'm out that shit now. But, like I was saying, the reason why I gravitated towards this because for the longest I've lived my life a certain way.

Speaker 1:

I think being um, regretting things as a waste of mental energy. It doesn't do anyone any good. I think being angry at someone outside of the incident is a waste of energy. It doesn't do anybody any good. And this methodology talks to a lot of stuff that's been in my head that I could not articulate, that I didn't have the words for and that they have provided. Everything that they're saying is exactly how I think and I'm like, oh, it's go time. So my goal is to help as many people who want it get through whatever stucknesses they have, because it's not necessary and you don't have to feel it and we're going to get rid of that shit. Also, it takes like one or two sessions. I to mention that. That's the other dope part. No hate to psychologists and psychiatrists out there. My wife is a psychotherapist. She's awesome. She's also utilizing this in her practice, but I don't think it takes years to get something accomplished. Oh my god. Okay, I got another story Last story and then I'm leaving.

Speaker 1:

So in this class that I'm taking, I am in courses with coaches, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, caseworkers, all kinds of mental health people and we're all, for the most part, coming to one accord and utilizing this new methodology to assist in any way we can. So we got put in a group. Oh, wait, no, yeah, I got put in a group during the class. It's like 80 people in the class. We got put in a group of threes on Zoom and there was this one guy. He's a psychiatrist, he was a psychiatrist for like 20 years and now he's about psych. He's a psychiatrist, he was a psychiatrist for like 20 years and now he's about a year and a half into rt and he's just like telling me all the cool stuff about it, blah, blah. I think he was in either the netherlands or belgium, I can't remember.

Speaker 1:

But he said over there, after a certain amount of time of you going to therapy, they give you an option to do euthanasia, to basically kill yourself. So because every psychiatrist, every piece of mental health work that you try to do, they've said that you are broken and can't be hurt, can't be fixed. And I was like I'm telling I'm in awe at this moment, like why listen to? I'm like huh, he's like's like yeah, so this lady comes to me. I was the last psychiatrist she was supposed to see before she was going to go through with the program and I was like pressure, that's a lot of that's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 1:

And he said like she was, like she went to nine other psychiatrists, mental health workers, and they all said your depression is too thick, we can't help you, you are not responding to our treatments. And there was a bunch of other stuff that was wrong with her and that wrong with her. There was a bunch of other stuff that she was feeling at the time that they said that this is what's wrong with you and blah, blah, blah. So, anyways, they went to my boy we'll call him, uh jay, because, uh, I don't want to give his real name out. She went to Jay and was like all right, this is the situation, what can you do? One session, rrt she decided to take herself off that list Now. She was still feeling feelings, but she did not want to die anymore. That hopelessness was gone.

Speaker 1:

And when he told me that he's like, yeah, I kind of fumbled through doing the, the process, but she, the hopelessness is gone, and I was like, all right, yep, thanks, thanks, jay, you have now pushed me into get this shit done mode, because if I can save somebody from wanting to kill themselves and I'm not doing the things I need to do to make that happen, I'm being very selfish and I'm not a selfish person anymore. I mean, I'm a little bit, but not on that front. So I'm going to kick myself into gear, not on that front. So I'm gonna kick myself into gear. As soon as I feel like I'm ready, I'm definitely gonna be uh, reaching out to some friends and loved ones to offer some free sessions our session, maybe, our, maybe two sessions and then whatever stucknesses you were feeling is gone. Oh, you're anxious about posting on youtube gone. Oh, you were worried is gone. Oh, you were anxious about posting on YouTube Gone. Oh, you were worried about an upcoming trip that's coming up in two years Gone, but that's the type of time I'm on.

Speaker 1:

So, with that being said, I appreciate y'all listening. Thank you so much for being here. Share the podcast with somebody, upload it and unfilter it. Share it with them. It's all over the place. Other than that, I will do a better outro when I get some time to just record one, but for now, you know, hit up the socials, go to the website uploadedandunfilteredcom. If you're feeling generous, go ahead and buy me a coffee I think that's the link that's in the description and donate to the podcast. Other than that, I will talk to y'all later. I appreciate y'all and, as always, protect your mental, keep creating content and I'll see you in the next one, peace.