Uploaded and Unfiltered: Conversations about Personal Growth, Mindsets, and Advice with BIPOC Creators for Creators

Crafting Positive Online Spaces [Guest: Nickie]

• Jermaine Pulliam • Season 1 • Episode 50

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Ever wondered how a passion for gaming can evolve into a full-blown career in content creation? Meet Nikki, a 42-year-old streamer from Cleveland, Ohio, who transformed her love for gaming into a thriving presence on Twitch, Kick, and TikTok. From her humble beginnings streaming directly from her PS4 to her current setup on the PS5, Nikki shares her heartfelt journey and the challenges she overcame, including mental health battles and the importance of authenticity in the digital realm. Nikki’s story is a testament to starting with what you have and letting passion guide the way.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome. Welcome back to another episode of uploaded and unfiltered the podcast, in which I, your host Jermaine, interviews another content creator in regard to their journey thus far. Tonight, as always, I have a special guest. Before I get her introduced on the podcast, I'm going to read her bios, we'll get some information and then we're going to start this awesome conversation. I'm going to read her bio so we can get some information, and then we're going to start this awesome conversation.

Speaker 1:

A 42-year-old gamer, streamer, content creator from Cleveland Ohio, nikki streams a variety of games across Kik and Twitch, but her main wheelhouse is first-person shooter games such as Call of Duty and Fortnite. She also mods across several streaming platforms for multiple streamers and was recently nominated for Mod of the Year for the BIPOC Awards. An anime enthusiast with a bubbly, goofy and weird personality that is more than likely fueled by a little too much coffee. She's also an advocate for mental health. She has bipolar depression and the LBTQ plus community, which she's also a member of, identifying as pansexual. With all of that said, let me finally introduce my guest for the evening nikki, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?

Speaker 2:

I'm doing pretty good. How about yourself?

Speaker 1:

I'm doing better now that I got through your intro it takes a lot. It's a lot there the movie magic that happens behind the scenes. Y'all will never know. Maybe I'll put a raw episode up one day and be like what the fuck is this? Do it?

Speaker 1:

do it yeah I might you know what I might do it for my year anniversary, just like straight audio. This is what it sounds like before you touch it, and now you know why I touch it nice. Anywho, nikki, first and foremost, thank you for doing a podcast. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for having me. It was. It's a nice surprise and I appreciate the fact that you reached out to me to speak to me at all, so I I truly appreciate being here.

Speaker 1:

Oh, no problem at all. Listen, everybody of addison. I've been genuinely super excited to have a conversation with them, and this doesn't change now, so let's go ahead and get it started. How did you get started in content creation?

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's actually funny. I, like quite a few people that I know because of the pandemic, were kind of tied to my house and when I started I had a friend of mine well, former friend of mine now, but they had actually started in content creation and they were, you know, I run games with them all the time and they were streaming on Twitch and they were like, well, you know, why don't you like stream on Twitch? I'm like, uh, I don't know, like I don't know if that's something that I like would be good at doing. And they were like, no, no, get into it, it's not bad.

Speaker 2:

So that's where I actually started my content creation and then after that I started streaming on Twitch, kind of off, and on um. I was also at the same time putting up content on TikTok, which I was more concentrated on TikTok than I was on Twitch, and then it kind of flipped. So now I'm more on twitch and on kick uh with content and less on tiktok. So that's how I started in content creation, like I was just in the house, stuck in the house that I'm in the house boring and I started.

Speaker 2:

You know. I turned on my ps4 and said you know what jock? And I'm gonna just play some games and go from there.

Speaker 1:

So that's how I got started now, did you stream straight from the ps4?

Speaker 2:

yep, I streamed straight from my PS5 now.

Speaker 1:

See, that's what I was telling people then I was like this is going to change the trajectory of streaming, because if you can just hit a button and go from your console, why not try it at least once?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, of course. I feel like it's one of those things where I know a lot of people get really kind of hung up on. It's like well, I don't have this, I don't have that, and I'm like I streamed for my ps5 audio's probably really bad. Sorry, but I just streamed because I you know like you're still doing it and yeah, exactly um, speaking of gaming, so you started in like around 2020 ish.

Speaker 1:

Have you been gaming your entire life?

Speaker 2:

yes, yes, I have, I am. I've been a heavy gamer since I was a kid and, as a matter of fact, the very first console I ever had my mom got me was a nintendo yeah and she got me super mario with the duck hunt package on it.

Speaker 2:

So that's where it started. And then, um, after that, I had a sega genesis, which I used to play sonic and knuckles religiously and I've been, like I said, I've been a heavy gamer my entire life. And you know, I've gone from system to system and I will say the amount of gaming I've done has changed since I got older. You know responsibilities and lives and things like that. They, they take precedent. But yeah, I've, I've been a heavy gamer my entire life and I don't think that'll ever change. Like I'll be in a wheelchair, in a nursing home. Get out the way, listen.

Speaker 1:

By then they're gonna have virtual worlds we can live in and shit yeah here's hoping, yeah right, let's play fortnite vr to the multiverse, exactly right like you can upload yourself to fortnite honestly like, really, yes, I would love to actually sell.

Speaker 1:

Yes, all right, everybody else is in fortnite. Why can't I be shit? Right, and it's funny. You mentioned the metaverse, because I went to a podcast meetup, uh, for podcasters and there was this couple there that do their entire show in the metaverse, like they built a stage, they built their avatars, they invite people to the crowd who are also wearing VR headsets and they do their podcast in front of a live VR audience. And I was like, oh, what do you? What do you mean? He's like, yeah, no, you want to be on it. I'm like, yes, yes, I do. I do you mean? He's like, yeah, no, you want to be on it. I'm like, yes, yes, I do, I do. I want to see everything, because that sounds amazing. Like what?

Speaker 2:

so, hey, we're not too far away that's wow, that that would so, that would like, excite and terrify me all at the same time, because I'm a klutz, I, it's like I'll get up there and run headfirst in this something. It's like that that was a wall, that that was a whole wall. It's like.

Speaker 1:

Nicole, what the hell Like listen that wall.

Speaker 2:

It shouldn't be there.

Speaker 1:

Yo, that's funny. You're right. You're right. Let's switch gears. Nick, what's your current mindset looking like? I love asking people this question because I don't think well, I know you do, but most people don't think about their mental health as much as I think they should. They don't think about their mindset, they just like go through the motions. So I think it's always like important to check in what that mindset looks like in regards to your content right now and if you want to touch on it, what's what do you think you're going to be doing like six months to a year from now as far as content goes?

Speaker 2:

well currently, um, my mindset is I use, like, my streaming for therapy, for not only myself but for other people. Um, one of my good friends that actually mod for, uh, her name is mvk. She has the same mindset, where it's like people come into the stream and you know whether or not they were having a good day or a bad day. She kind of just wants to be there, you know, so people can have something that they can go to and you know, kind of escape whatever's going on and you know, feel happier than you know when they came in, and that's kind of what I live by yeah

Speaker 2:

because for me, like I have bipolar depression, I was diagnosed in 2021 with bipolar depression and I didn't have real good access to therapy, so I was like, okay, well, streaming was kind of my therapy because, again, I love playing video games and that's something that I like doing and I would do that. And then, you know, along with streaming, it's like sometimes people come in and they don't have. They could be having a hard day, they could be having a great day, it really doesn't matter. For me, it was like I'm streaming for not only myself but also for everybody else that comes in and has that mindset, because there are some days that I have, before I hit that button, it's like, oh my god, like I had a horrible day.

Speaker 2:

You know, I could be in the middle of a depressive episode, I could be in the middle of a manic episode, and when I hit that button and turn that PlayStation 5 on and go to stream, by the end of the stream I feel much better. And usually I have other people that come in. It could be two people, it could be 200 people, it really doesn't matter. I tried not to get hung up on numbers because I know for some people that's like a really solid thing, because there are a lot of creator programs and people are trying to get sponsorships and things like that which I'm not saying it's bad if you do.

Speaker 2:

Everybody has a different goal and a different thing that they want to achieve. But for me it was just like, hey, I'm just going to turn it on and you know if you show up, and you know if that's your therapy, then hey, we can all hang out together. And I try to play more calmer games, like when I started. I actually started when I started streaming. I was doing Final Fantasy VII, the remake for it, and yeah, I still need to get through that, that and the other 27 games I have in my arsenal.

Speaker 1:

That's a long one right there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's, and I think I'm like maybe 20% through with it because.

Speaker 2:

I like switched over and played Warzone, like a lot of people I know did, so I got to hang out with them. But you know if you come in and just hang out for a little bit or hang out for a long time, you know. You know if you come in and just hang out for a little bit or hang out for a long time, you know as long as you leave my stream feeling better than you did if you had a bad mindset when you came in you know that's more important to me than you know any number, because I have streamed to literally one person and I have streamed to like 20 people like I I haven't hit the market where it's like more than like 20 people.

Speaker 2:

If I do, I'd probably freak out, but um, it's like there are 21 people here yeah, in stream can't do, it can't do it. There's 21 people. Somebody has to leave.

Speaker 2:

There's too many people exactly it's like it's like you come in, you feel a certain way. You know if you leave feeling better or you know, leave feeling happier. Whatever that is, I just kind of want to. I'm more focused on that. It's been my own mental health as well that I am, you know, just streaming something to get people in and get numbers and things like that and again, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be like about those things.

Speaker 2:

if that's something that you are concerned about and something that you are focused on, you know, go for it. But for me it was just like therapy, um, and then six months from now, hopefully, hopefully, I do start a new job. So it's going to be. It's going to be a little bit more of an uphill battle than usual, but, you know, hopefully I'm still going to create content and I actually want to create more content because I I don't stream as often as I would like to, and that's just because sometimes, like, I do have I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to say like, every time I stream or every time I think about streaming, you know, I hit that button and I'm ready to go.

Speaker 2:

For some people like myself and you know, and others, sometimes it's kind of like it takes a lot, yeah, because some days I could be in a really down mental place where I'm just not feeling that great and streaming takes, you know, quite a bit of energy, especially when you're trying to keep your energy up and entertain people that come in to watch you right so some days I'm just like, you know, I I don't, you know I'm not feeling it and I kind of just back off of it.

Speaker 2:

But I, for me, I want to get back into creating more content because I really I like doing it. Like content creation is something that I didn't knew, that I liked to do yeah until the pandemic had happened and I started streaming and I'm like, oh wow, it's really weird that you find things that you love doing that you didn't know, I didn't know I would like doing TikTok videos and I did that for a while.

Speaker 2:

I didn't know that I was going to like streaming and I do that now. So it's. It's really fun and and kind of weird in a way, that you discover things that you didn't know that you would like and be good at doing and you would go from there. But I actually want to create more content, I want to stream more, I want to uh, I started my gaming TikTok cause I had to start all over again Cause I got locked up my last one, but I have to start over again with that one, you know, and just you know, just really getting into that and and really doing more with that, because it's something that I really like to do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah yo, this is uh dope and this is. I'm about to crack this, this combo, open a little bit, because everything you're saying I've been thinking probably for the last six months, like that discovery of things that hey, that you didn't know you were good at, but that you actually genuinely enjoy, and for me and I can finally have this conversation because we're similar in age, like what made, so you started in 2020. So let's say I don't know, I can't do math. Let's say you were 38 for most people, I was 39 actually so most people our age are terrified to do content like.

Speaker 1:

So I am starting a coaching business specifically to help creators like beat Arthur and his cells all that fun stuff. But most other people I've talked to have been like 35 and up, afraid to turn on the camera, afraid to just show up on camera and like that was. I don't know why, but for me that was never an issue and even when it was, I just pushed past it because I was having fun. So my question is did you ever have that hesitancy to make content? And if you did like, what did you do to get past it?

Speaker 2:

So I had that hesitancy a little bit because, like I said, I didn't think that I was entertaining. And I saw so many other people, uh, like across twitch that had all these like fancy setups and you know they had the nice, uh, this, the nice stream deck, which, oh god, I want one if I can finally get my computer set. You know, I had seen all these people that had like all this like fancy stuff and my hesitancy was I'm on a ps4.

Speaker 2:

That was the main hesitancy that I had going into wanting to do content creation because I didn't have all like the fun stuff and the monitors and the cameras and this, that and the third and that was that was that was it. And once I was like, okay, well, I could push a button and just talk to whoever is listening, whoever's watching, I. I was okay with that and I started to learn a lot when it came to doing content creation and it's funny that you mentioned age, like when I like I'm 42 now. So I've been, I've been creating content.

Speaker 2:

This October it will be four years nice so for me it's funny, I ran into older people. Like I didn't come across a lot of younger people that were making content. I came across a lot of older people that are in my age range that were making content. Um, like one of like my friend mvk, she's 38. Um, my friend uh ninja, he's 42. So we're the same age, and a lot of the people that I ran into, even within the communities the different streaming communities are around the same age group. So when I started to kind of get more into streaming and I started meeting different people from, like, different parts of the country and different parts of the world, it was just like, okay, they can do it, I'll do it. And that whole getting over. Well, I don't have the latest setup, I don't have this, I don't have that. Oh yeah, forget it. I listen, I'm gonna set this up, I'm gonna turn this on, I'm gonna just be myself and you know, go from there.

Speaker 2:

And if you come along from the ride, then great. If it's not something that you don't like, then you can always go somewhere else.

Speaker 1:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Man that's dope. I like that Big great guess Just going to pat myself on the back way that you run your stream and the premise behind it. I too have been attempting. I don't know if I'm doing a good job of it, but that's how I go.

Speaker 1:

That's the mindset I go into any stream that I pop up in is there's a lot of shit happening in the world and a lot of people are dealing with a lot of stuff just personally, and so my stream is a distractions place, like I don't. So for my stream I don't want anybody talking about negative shit, cause, like you can do that elsewhere. Like here we're only having fun, we're only cracking jokes, and that's how I try to keep it. But there are certain times where, like even friends that come into the stream, like I know they had a bad day and I don't necessarily want to talk about it, but if that's what they need in that moment, it's like I want to be there for them to do it, but then the other side, I want to fix that shit, so so I might have to. I'm gonna look into some rules. I'm like listen, if you talk about your problem, we're fixing it live on streams and see. See who wants to play yeah.

Speaker 2:

So my thing is I see this a lot because, like I said, I'm not for quite a few people like across platforms. My thing is it really depends on the streamer. Me personally, you know. If you come in and want to talk about issues that you're having, I personally don't mind right but I have, I think, just about every, every person I'm on for, with the exception of like maybe one or two.

Speaker 1:

Their thing is do not trauma, dump oh yeah, don't trauma, dump in my chat.

Speaker 2:

Don't do this, don't do that and the minute you start doing it you get timed out. You do it again, you get banned. And for me I like I try to not because I have a tendency to like trauma, I will had a tendency to kind of like trauma dump sometimes and I'm like, oh my god, I gotta shut up and yeah that's because I base it on my stream and what I would allow people to do.

Speaker 2:

And you know, they come in and talk about problems that they have or things that they've been through, um, all these different issues, and I'm like, hey, you know, I know, just try to be as empathetic and sympathetic as possible because, you know, like I said, you don't know what that person is going through when they come into your stream, but as long as they feel better when they leave out and you know all is said and done, that's you know.

Speaker 2:

If you have to, you know, get whatever is off your chest, off of it, it I'm okay with that. But I do adhere to the rules when it comes to other streamers, because if I say like I'm just having a tough day, I'm hanging in there, I don't like go into specifics of what I'm dealing with. Um, because again, it's that rule of okay, you know we can, you know we can talk, we can chat, but there's a limit right and when you when that boundary is there and you cross that boundary, then you have to get dealt with.

Speaker 2:

So I make it a point to you know, if I go into somebody else's stream like I ain't having the best day, but it's okay, we go. You know, today is today and tomorrow's a brand new day. So you just kind of go from there and you have to have that mindset. And again, you have to set those boundaries as well, because if it's something that you know you don't want to talk about because it'll bring your energy down, just set that boundary up like, hey, you know, we can talk about it a little bit. Or you know, if you need someone to talk to, we can do this off stream.

Speaker 1:

But while you're here.

Speaker 2:

Don't drag everybody else down, because not everybody else wants to talk about that exactly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's fair and I think everybody understands that after hearing it once like oh, yeah, okay, I, I'm here to be entertained, I'm not trying to bring y'all down with me, okay I mean it's a means of escape for a lot of people like a lot of people even with video games, even with hell soap operas, it's a means of escapism because they don't want to think about the stuff that's going on and you know, streaming provides that for somebody.

Speaker 2:

You don't want somebody to bring that in and it's like, okay, I have to deal with the stuff I'm trying to like, not think about exactly.

Speaker 1:

Luckily, my community has been pretty. I had to get rid of a few people because they just, for some reason, they just wanted to stay in that negative mindset and I'm like I can't, I can't, like yeah I can't engage, so I'm just gonna ban you.

Speaker 2:

That's my favorite thing to do right it's just like boom gone I so, going back to my friend mvk, I'm a mod in her chat and every single time somebody comes in with the shenanigans, there's like, at least, there's at least like that I know of. There's 10 of us there and it's like all right, would somebody say something crazy? Ban, ban, ban. And it's not just like one person bans it's like we'll ban and then unban, and then the next person does it, and then the next person does it, it's like all right let's, let's get into it like one of us do it.

Speaker 1:

You're getting jumped right, that's basically what it is yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 2:

It's like oh, you want to come in with this nonsense, all right, ban, ban, ban, ban ban. And that's just how we are I love it. I love that, yes, it is yeah, if it's petty, yes, is it necessary, maybe, but maybe not. Hey, we do it anyway you know it works.

Speaker 1:

It hasn't failed yet. All right, nikki, let's slide into our next section lessons learned. This is where I ask my guests what has been a lesson you've learned because you started creating content?

Speaker 2:

well, one thing that I learned and I touched on it earlier is don't get hung up on not having the latest stuff, like if you don't have a computer. All you have is, like a game system. Whatever you know, if you want to make content, do it, and that's something that I had to learn for myself and also being careful of who you align yourself with also being careful of who you align yourself with.

Speaker 2:

I've seen a lot of people like a lot of people that I. You know that I came in. When I came into streaming, I was friends with these people and left out being nowhere near these people anymore.

Speaker 2:

You have to be really careful of who you align yourself with, because, as much as sometimes you want to thank highly of people or give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes they're not on the up and up like they're up to something, whether it's, you know, using you for their stream, or if they are trying to gain something from you. You kind of have to watch out and when you start to like really look at things and kind of take a step back and see things from different perspectives, that's when you can see okay, I need to steer clear of this person, right, especially if it's somebody that's in every community. It doesn't matter what streaming community they go to, they go from here, there and everywhere, and it's always the same thing. It's always drama, it's always unnecessary things like I've. I've been on x and it's been every other post from streamers it's like some sort of drama and I'm like, oh my god, like I get it.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes you, you know you have your opinions and you comment on them, or it could even be a thing of where you know you accidentally get pulled into it.

Speaker 2:

I know couple of people that that's happened to where it's like I'm just sitting here playing video games, Like I'm just minding my business, and this other person comes along and have all these issues with me and it's like, uh, I don't, like, I'm just chilling. Um, you have to always be careful who you're aligning yourself with. You know, don't get too worried about whether your content looks like the next person's content. It's like it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2:

Like just just be careful, you know, do what you do, be yourself, and you know, don't even like, don't engage in nonsense. That's, that's my biggest thing that I had to learn because, you know, I had people around me that were that I thought were cool, and then they weren't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that were that I thought were cool and then they weren't. Yeah, yeah, I think uh a lot of people that I know have gone through similar, similar stories, including myself. Like you see somebody, you're like, oh, that person's dope, you end up linking up with that person. Then you see the other side, you're like, oh, okay, I've seen that quite a bit.

Speaker 2:

Actually, I uh, actually I'm going through that right now, but I'm like, uh, okay, I'm a backup, but the thing is, is that my I, I, the block button is an option?

Speaker 1:

so I use it quite frequently yeah, and I think people forget that, like you could literally just block that person from your life like I block and mute.

Speaker 2:

That's why I think and I think a lot of that is because you know we are human beings and you. You know we have emotions, we have thoughts, we have insight, we have opinions and I think sometimes with certain things, we take it way too personal because of those feelings. Or you know, this thing happened and you have an opinion on it and you want to say something.

Speaker 2:

Or you feel like you're being personally attacked and something is about you. I think we kind of tend to forget that those things are options because we bring our emotions into it and you know how we feel is how we feel and those emotions are. You know those emotions are valid, but I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm like you know what. I'm not about to engage the foolishness.

Speaker 2:

So I'm just gonna block to block and just keep it moving and just I don't have time for it. Like I have so many other things on my plate, so many other responsibilities, and just getting into just being a content creator and, you know, just even just playing games with my friends on stream I do that a lot you know, just running games with my friends.

Speaker 2:

It's like those things are more important than whether or not two people do or don't like each other or there's a problem there. You know, even if my name gets mentioned, I'm like okay right tell me something I don't know exactly I've had. I've had people that actually matter to me. Call me worse things and done worse things.

Speaker 2:

You don't register you mad at me over something. Right, it's like you've mad at me over something I don't have any control over, so okay, I just kind of keep it pushing hell yeah, the earlier you learn that lesson, the easier your life is gonna be for you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, definitely, oh man, all right, we're gonna go ahead and drop some knowledge now. I mean, so these, these are similar, because lessons learned is, and especially out of content creation. There's so many random things that you can learn because you started shooting YouTube videos, but words of advice would be something that you want to drop a piece of knowledge on in regards to somebody. Either they want to do what you do, or they just want to start creating content, or they've been doing it for a while and they're like I'm about to burn out.

Speaker 2:

Who do you want to talk creating content? Or they've been doing it for a while and they're like I'm about to burn out. Who do you want to talk to and what piece of advice would you give them? So, as far as wanting to start content creation, start. You know. Don't get hung up on whether or not you're gonna be good, whether or not you're gonna be entertaining. Just start you know.

Speaker 2:

If you, you know, hit the button and see where that goes. If you find that it's something that you do like, keep going. But find out, you know, and in the process you know, find out who you are, your personalities, your strengths, your weaknesses. Um, when the stream ends, go over your vods and look at stuff where you know you can see improvements in where it's like okay, I did good here but, you know, at this part I didn't do so great right so look at those things and you know kind of critique yourself and you can have other people, like one of my friends.

Speaker 2:

I had them look at my stream.

Speaker 2:

When I first started I had them look I'm hitting my mic I had one of my streams when I first started and I had them go over one of my vibes and I'm like, can you tell me what you thought? And they were like, yeah, this is good, you did good here, you talked about this, you talked about that. And one of the things that they always told me was don't get super focused, that you forget about people in your stream. True, that happens on every game, especially especially with call of duty yeah you get so locked in and it's like you everything around you just blocks out.

Speaker 2:

It's like you know the kitchen's on fire.

Speaker 2:

Yeah but I gotta get this guy like uh, just if I could you know, just find out who you are as a person when you stream, and if you don't like content creation, you don't have to do it again. You could delete the VODs, you could delete your account. That's fine. As far as doing content creation, if you feel like you're not doing, like I said, numbers aren't important to me, but if you feel like you want to do better numbers, you want more people to get into the stream, you want to draw that in, because this is an issue that I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 2:

I also have issues with this. You have to put yourself out there more no-transcript, and not all those opinions are going to be positive. You have to put yourself out there and say, yeah, hey, this is my content, this is what I do, this is you know. If you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't. But put yourself out there because you will attract people that will love your content, like you could be sitting there talking about, you know Coca-Cola, you know, and you can talk about anything, and there will be people that are like yeah, I really like this.

Speaker 2:

And they'll come in. You know your vibe will attract your tribe.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And when you find the people that will come to you, your demographic of people, they will come to you. So don't get too hung up on things not going the way that you want them to. Don't get hung up on not having the latest thing because this person has this piece of equipment and you don't. It doesn't matter, because at the end of the day, what's the most important is number one do you want to create content? And number two, how you get that content out there. And we get so stuck on that and it's like, well, I want to, but I don't want to, and I'm like listen, just push the button If you don't like it, then don't do it.

Speaker 2:

If you want to get out there more and you want to put yourself out there more for whatever reason, do that, and it's it makes you nervous. It's kind of scary because you don't know what's going to happen. But and as far as burnout is concerned, I say this all the time because I have these moments if you have burnout back away, exactly because the more that you start to stream when you're having moments where imposter syndrome sets in or burnout is setting in, but you're constantly trying to stream, knowing that you're feeling the way that you do take a moment off like take a breather, step back, go do whatever it is in your actual life, if you need to take a vacation, if you just need to go outside and touch grass, if you want to sit in the sun for 20 minutes

Speaker 2:

you know, if you're just not feeling it and you're not in a mental place to like kind of continue, put it down back away and when you feel better, come back to it. Because at a certain point streaming is no longer going to be something that you enjoy doing. Creating content is no longer something you're going to be comfortable doing. It's going to get to a point to where it becomes a chore and it's no longer fun. And when it's no longer fun, then that's when you'll just put it down and be like I'm done, yep, and you have to kind of step back, reassess and go okay, I'm in a better place now, I feel better, let's get back into it and it's.

Speaker 2:

You know it's hard because it's like again, we're human beings and you know we just do it and we just keep going, because sometimes it's what we just all we know, but if it gets to a point, to where it's like, oh my god, like I have to do this again, but this, don't turn the button, don't put the button on, don't do anything, just go do something else and when you feel better, come back and your, your audience will be there your demographic is going to be there.

Speaker 2:

Uh, the faithful are always going to be there. I've known people that have taken a week off of streaming. I know people that have taken a month and I know people that have taken off way more time than that because they're not in that headspace where it's like you know, I don't want to do this and like I think my last piece of advice is if you don't want to do it anymore like you've been doing it for god knows how long, it's just not something you want to do anymore. It's okay to just put the thing.

Speaker 2:

It's okay to just not do it exactly like if you don't want to stream anymore, if you don't want to create content anymore, you would prefer to be a viewer of other people's content and support other people rather than make the content yourself. It's okay to say I'm done yeah and just walk away from it and go. You know, hey, I had a good run. It was nice while I was doing it. It's not good anymore. It's not something I want to continue doing. I'm done. It's okay to say that exactly.

Speaker 1:

Nobody's gonna judge you. I mean people might, but who gives a fuck? It's all about you. Like when you say, how do you feel about it? Because I'm about to say you, there's petty people out there who judge everything they can.

Speaker 2:

They don't matter, yeah it's it's you have to do things for yourself, and I think sometimes we we also get in a mode of where we like try to live for other people or live vicariously through other people. Like it's no, like it's, I can't do it. Like I, I'm going to live because other people told me to do this. I'm like dude, listen. If I don't feel like doing it, I'm not pushing this button.

Speaker 1:

Exactly Nothing you say is is gonna make me change my mind. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. There have been times where, like before I started streaming like 10 minutes before I go live, I'm like I just don't feel like doing it. Uh, fuck it, I'm not doing it and I just I just go watch everybody else's stream. I'll be in people's stream. They're like aren't you supposed to be live? I'm like yeah, I didn, I didn't feel like it. They're like all right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I do that quite often. I'll sit up here and be looking at that PS5 and look at that button. I'm like nope.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, not today, nope.

Speaker 2:

Like, I'll run games with you offline, but I am not hitting that button Exactly, forget it.

Speaker 1:

Like there'll be times I'll be, people will be streaming and I'm like in the party playing, but I'm not like I don't want to say my usual self, I'm not my streamer self, I'm just like chill, I'll react, but I'm not like trying to entertain people, I'm just like I'm here yeah, I.

Speaker 2:

My thing is is that when I'm on stream I try to like curb my cussing, but when I'm off streaming it's just so if I'm on somebody else's stream yeah, I was at the cuss words get the flying yeah so it's like I didn't know you work this way like you'd be surprised I'm out of my stream way worse it's like oh so nobody's listening to me, except for people that allow me to do this, and it just comes flying yeah again. What call of duty?

Speaker 1:

love it, of course. Fucking apex for me. Uh, well, nikki, we have in. Uh, I can't speak. We have reached the end of our journey. Thank you again, uh, for doing this. This was fun as hell. Where can the people find your content? Where do you want to send them?

Speaker 2:

well, you can mostly find me on twitch and on kick. So you can find me at twitchtv uh, slash, nikki underscore exe. You can also find me on kick with the same handle. Those are the two where I create the most content. Um, instagram gaming content coming soon. Uh, tiktok gaming content coming soon. I'm still working on these things. I'm also finally working on a discord server, so there's a lot of stuff to come. But if if you're looking for me, you can always find me on Twitch and on Kik, and that's, of course, nikki underscore EXE. That's where I'm usually going to be.

Speaker 1:

Boom and all her links will be attached to this episode in some way. I haven't figured out what way yet. But also, if you haven't already, go ahead and subscribe to the podcast, uploaded and unfiltered. Uh, we have conversations with creators every week. This will be the 40 something episode. I haven't missed a week yet I don't see any end in sight. Um, it's been dope. So subscribe, share with your friends and send me a message. I think you you can text the show now. If you got a question or you got a topic you want me to touch on, hit me up. Other than that, nikki, again, thank you for doing this. I hope you had fun.

Speaker 2:

I did. This was nice. This is my first podcast that I've been on and asked to be a guest on, and it's super nice. So thank you for having me.

Speaker 1:

I quite enjoyed myself well, get ready to get another invite, because I'm going to start doing panels one day yay, so if you want to do a panel with some other streamers I don't know what we're going to talk about, but it'll be fun- throw something and we'll all see what's yeah we're all creative, we'll figure something out.

Speaker 1:

Other than that, yo'all appreciate everybody who's listening. Thank you, you don't. You have no idea how fun and enriching this project has been for me. Uh, it's been awesome. So thank you for allowing me to do this, but, as always, protect your mental, keep creating content and I'll talk to you on the next one. Peace.