Uploaded and Unfiltered: Conversations about Personal Growth, Mindsets, and Advice with BIPOC Creators for Creators

Why Everyone Can't Go: Navigating Life, Love, and Creative Paths [Guest: Queen It Shall Be]

• Jermaine Pulliam • Season 1 • Episode 87

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Engaging with the themes of creativity, mental health, and representation, this episode features an inspiring discussion with Queen It Shall Be, creator and founder of ISS Games. Her journey delves into the importance of sharing one’s truth and encouraging others to embrace their stories while fostering community and connection through gaming and art.

• Exploring Queen's background in content creation since childhood 
• Founding ISS Games and celebrating Black culture 
• The power of dancing for healing with the Knees Up movement 
• The importance of representation in games and media 
• Sharing lessons learned from her creative journey 
• Discussing the significance of mental health awareness in the Black community 
• Encouragement for aspiring creators to be authentic 
• How social media influences connection and personal growth 
• Preparing for future projects and community engagement 

Queen’s insights throughout this episode show the strength of healing through creativity and the power of communal support in navigating individual journeys.


You can follow Queen’s Journey here:

patreon.com/queenitshallbe

twitch.tv/queenitshallb

twitch.tv/iasgamesdotcom

tiktok.com/queenitshallbe

tiktok.com/iasgames

instagram.com/queenitshallbe

instagram.com/iasgames

facebook.com/queenitshallbe

instagram.com/iasgames

youtube.com/@queenitshallbe

youtube.com/@iasgames. 

twitter.com/queenitshallbe

twitter.com/iasgames


Support the show

Speaker 1:

Welcome, welcome back to another episode of Uploaded and Unfiltered, the podcast in which I, your host Jermaine, interviews another content creator in regards to their journey thus far. Just like last week, I have a special guest and before I get on her line, we're going to read her amazing bio so we can get a little information on her, and then we're going to bring her in so we can get a little information on her, and then we're going to bring her in so we can have a dope ass conversation. Your friendly neighborhood unicorn, queen HLB, is a Brooklyn native, currently living in the South as a black woman, mother, entrepreneur, table and YouTube game developer, art activist, award-winning spoken word artist, motivational dancer, instructor, streamer, podcaster, foodie and glitter enthusiast. Queen is the founder of, in All Seriousness, iss Games, with a mission to unapologetically celebrate Black culture through games, accessories and stuff inspired by sitcoms, cinema and original content. Queen is a casual live streamer on several platforms where she streams gaming, interview-style podcasts and IRL content.

Speaker 1:

In 2019, queen started her Knees Up movement to dance daily for healing, accountability and joy. Today is her day 2080, and in June 2025, queen it shall Shall Be will be celebrating six years of consecutive dancing daily. That's amazing. She is on a mission to be the change she wants to see by living love forward, healing out loud. And a good black time With that stumbled through a little bit of that, but we got through the bio. I'd like to introduce my guest for the evening. Queen, it shall be welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2:

How you doing today I'm great that was awesome. You made it. I was like you got it you got it.

Speaker 1:

You got it. I'm working on my voice acting skills, so I gotta be able to read stuff without flubbing through it. You know, so you're doing good.

Speaker 2:

You're doing good, thank you're doing good.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

No problem at all. I am excited to start this conversation. Just reading through your bio, like all my guests, I either see you through a mutual or I think we met through Twitch. I was streaming and you came through, and then we've been back and forth into the stream. But all of this stuff that you do, well, let's go ahead and get started. Queen, how did you get started in content creation?

Speaker 2:

I want to say, well, I can't even say the pandemic now because I guess with, with, dancing every day with me, starting in um in 2019, that was when I hit it heavy. But I started making videos a long time ago, I want to say probably back in 2003, 2004. I was making skits, or had a little handheld camera and I would just record stuff and then, started uploading a couple of skits with friends on YouTube.

Speaker 2:

Not much at all. I probably had like eight accounts because of all the ones that I just either forgot the password to or started under a whole nother name, so I don't really know.

Speaker 2:

But I would say, yeah, around early 2000s, after I had my son, after I moved to the South, and I just wanted to do something creatively, because I've always been creative, I've always been in some sort of arts or wanting to watch something work that I built or design or just been interested in that. So it's been in me all my life, all my known life. But actually putting on that camera early 2000s.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So when you first started was there, were you thinking, ooh, I want to make this a career? Or are you just like I'm just trying to be creative, I'm just throwing this up?

Speaker 2:

I'm bored and I want to laugh. Yes, and some stuff is funny, but I'm like, I feel like I'm hilarious sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, like every now, and again.

Speaker 2:

I'll be in my funny bag and I'll be like you know what. I would love to see me do that again.

Speaker 1:

That's awesome, so let me record that. So not to segue too hard, but I've been thinking about this since you first told me that you made a board game I did. How did that come up, like okay, I'm all over the place? How did the board game idea like pop in your head? What made you go? You know what I'm making this?

Speaker 2:

So when I was little, I played board games a lot. I had several. My favorite was Clue okay because I just loved the design of it. I love the way that the characters just were drawn. I love that you could like get into character yeah you know, I mean like, really like act it up, because I love acting, I love, uh, comedy. I wasn't big on drama, but if I could laugh I was good.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I like the murder mystery aspect of it and actually I played it at a friend's house after school. It was just me and her. And she well, oh man, oh, you just want me back? Yeah, we played it after school, junior high school. I played Clue and when I went home I took loose leaf paper and writing and you know writing utensils that I started just making games.

Speaker 2:

I would just I was like I'm going to see if I can make a board game. I mean, my family played Monopoly. I wasn't good at it at the time.

Speaker 1:

I'm much better now but I wasn't good at it at the time, so I was kind of like, eh, but Clue really felt like, ooh, I could do this.

Speaker 2:

You know what I mean. Like I'm seeing all the grownups or other people at the table who's having fun, I could do this. So I start, you know, doing a little bit of doodling, making my own games. You know, off the wall shit. I'm not really worried about it. Then I'm an adult, it's 2017. I lose my job. I I feel so depressed, so sad. I just there was so many different emotions going on because so much was happening and I had some family members come over to kind of like cheer me up and we were playing the game of life. Okay, and while we were playing the game of life, I was just thinking because I had already decided by this point. You know, this job and everything around it had broke my heart. I'm not working in another. Nine to five, I'm going to figure it out for myself. I'm not going to be the little black girl in the office, no more.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to do my own thing right. So I was like man, what could I do? And so we're playing this game and stuff and I was like it'd be cool if it had some black people in it. And then you know, in the game of life you got just a little, a little page.

Speaker 2:

And I'm thinking about Clue Cause again. I still have board games. I'm looking at all the board games. I said it'd be cool if this had black people in it, and then I'm just thinking, and then we start talking about shows and stuff that we are okay.

Speaker 2:

For a while, and then, after a couple of hours, I go back and I'm like, yeah, but what if that was in a game, though? So me and a family member at the time, we started talking about it and then I was I was on it Like I was really like, okay, let's learn how to do this, let's do that. Let's do this and the other family member not have, uh, the capacity to really like dig into it like I did. I mean, I had free time, I just lost my job.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

So this is all I could do um outside of. You know, being a mom and trying to like live, so let me go ahead and go full steam with that. I took some of my kids old um art supplies I had a foam board, some construction paper and a sharpie and I made my first prototype.

Speaker 2:

I said I wanted to make it about a show I loved, which was a different world. I always wanted to go to HBCU. Never got to go. I said, man, it'd be cool if we could all go to our favorite fictional HBCU. Yeah, let me go ahead and figure it out. And I reached out to some brothers that had created the Martin Trivia Game and I asked them how they did it, because I had bought the game a couple of years prior. I asked them how they did it. They were great enough to give me info, introduce me to the world of the Black Game Makers Association and community. I found other Black game developers.

Speaker 2:

I'm self-taught and I just I put the pieces together and in 2019 I launched him in the game uh, at an event that I put together that I didn't think a lot of people were going to come to, but people came out in the rain, they came out in the rain. I had, I had a poetry open mic because I'm a poet. I had a poetry open mic, I had music going, I had a DJ and I had my games on tables for people to play.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to make games because I always loved how we got together and how we would just cut up at the table on a board game. And I said, man, this would be so cool if we knew that this game was made by one of us Celebrating us. Like it wasn't just pinched, it wasn't just perpetrated or, you know, like watered down or inauthentic. Yes, that was my biggest thing. I wanted it to come from a good place and I'm a Care Bear, like I believe love's the thing that's going to win it.

Speaker 2:

I'm like 100 bears there, because they were, you know, um hold on, hold on, they were crime fighters.

Speaker 1:

Hold on you trying to tell me the care bears were crime fighters did they not solve problems?

Speaker 2:

was someone not doing something bad and they had to fix it? Oh my god, were they not called when there was an issue?

Speaker 1:

You just broke my brain. I did not put two and two together until right now.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, because people don't respect the love, the cuddle, the bubble. They think a crime fighter is.

Speaker 1:

Yo, that's crazy.

Speaker 2:

The Can-Bans were crime fighters.

Speaker 1:

That's why Alright, I just learned something new today. That's all I'm done for today. We can wrap it up. That's amazing. I can't wait to tell everybody.

Speaker 2:

And you should.

Speaker 1:

I'm a layover queen and you should Just broke my brain. That's awesome, all right. Well, I love that story. I played board games with Corey growing up too, and I started doing some more as an adult Just random ass board games with some of the homies, and I'm always amazed at how anyone can make a board game. Any game like that doesn't already exist it is not easy.

Speaker 2:

I'm like how did you think of this? I don't stop thinking no that's how. I don't know how to stop damn thinking it just keeps it going. I'm always thinking of some shit, like I'm always thinking of a game. I'm like, oh, that would be fun to play. Oh yeah, and and I'm also a person that, um, uh, I'm an 80s baby, oh yeah same so you know we the 80s was off to children, the 80s was you can do anything, you know all you gotta do is believe, you know and that just sat with me and one thing I also sat with me was from mary popp.

Speaker 2:

A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. I figured out that comedy and laughter would actually teach people something.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

So I said if I could do this, I could figure out. And true to my mission, that I didn't know was a bigger mission than me when I made, when I made my game, I um, at the time my daughter she's 15 now, so she was about probably like eight, something like that she invited me to her school to bring my game to her class and I think it was third graders, third grade class. So I took my game to the school, kids saw it and they were like oh, where'd you get this from? I said I made it. They said, huh, I said yeah, I made it.

Speaker 2:

They said you can make your own game. I said yes, and then I asked them and I said do you know what an HBCU is? Some kids knew, some didn't, so I got to be the one to tell little black kids in my direct area. I said well, this is where the HBCU is and we have two in our city. And then when they saw the pieces, oh, I look like Dwayne you look like Freddie.

Speaker 1:

I want to be with me.

Speaker 2:

I want to be, and I almost cried Like. I almost lost it. But that's what they wanted to do and they love it.

Speaker 1:

That is awesome. You are hitting on some themes that I've been thinking about for the last couple years, and it's mostly we are not seen in public enough or there's not enough representation of us. And to have a kid see your game, understand what it is, see themselves in it Like. I didn't know how important that was when I was little because I was little, my pops was in the military, so we lived all over the place. I lived in Montana, which is a predominantly white space. I was in England, michigan, so I didn't see a lot of us growing up and I didn't realize how important it was until I got older and I'm like, oh shit, oh shit, y'all just controlling everything with the okay. So congrats on you for having the foresight to think, hey, I can make something fun and educational and that's how the kids eat that shit up.

Speaker 2:

I eat that shit up that's how I learned, and they did. My sons had invited me to their high school and I went twice.

Speaker 1:

Yeah I was invited back twice.

Speaker 2:

And then I got to go to the hbcu in my city because I was invited. What yep, so Yep. So I have HBCU students playing a game. Of course they're young, they didn't know about it, but that even had them go and want to watch the show. Exactly, there's a lot of trivia from the show in the game and they're like.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my goodness, we're going to be talking about this all for the rest of the party. Hold on, let me gather myself. I we're going to be talking about this all for the rest of the party. I need to hold on, let me gather myself. I'm talking to somebody with knowledge that I've been always wanting to, so I'm just picking. They were like what about this? All right. My next question, though yes, so you got the first game out the way, and I know you said you've been thinking about others. Do you have a plan to move towards another game? All right, we'll talk on it. Speak on it. What do you? What's in your what's, if you can?

Speaker 2:

I don't want you to give away any spoilers oh, no, no, no, no, but I will say this. So, after I made uh, oh, hold on, I gotta grab it after I made um helm in the game.

Speaker 2:

I noticed that in my culture. Uh, because I knew I wanted to make tabletop games and the reason why I called my game In All Seriousness is because I knew I didn't just want to make one game, I wanted to make different series, and because I was inspired by sitcoms. Sitcoms have series. So I was like, okay, and it was a play on the word seriousness, which we say a lot in all seriousness.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, if you say it real fast, it sounds like and I'm serious, in all seriousness I really make games, like a black woman really does make games for real. I love it. But after Helman, the game actually my second game that I was working on I just launched, okay, and so while I was working on Helmanman, I was also watching a lot of living single so I ended up making flavor oh, yes, yeah so I made flavor the game.

Speaker 2:

It's an actual game. Yeah, yeah it is. It is a good black time i'm'm telling you yes, yes, but I didn't announce Flavor before my other project, which is it's not a game, but it's a game companion. Okay, and I realized with my own family members and friends and stuff like that that there were a lot of black people afraid to play spades Because they didn't want to get yelled at.

Speaker 1:

Not afraid, I just haven't learned.

Speaker 2:

Right, I'm not afraid, I just haven't learned Right. But some people, for whatever reason, they haven't learned, or no one has taught them, or they're embarrassed, or people don't know how to teach, or they don't have patience, or you know, it's just, it's really, really intense. Spades is a fun game, but everyone doesn't know how to be introduced or introduce someone to it or introduce someone to it. So I made what's called the Spades Coach, and it is a game companion designed to teach Black people how to play spades from a hostile, free environment. I designed cards especially to go with an old-school feel. Yes, well, this is probably a better one, because I had two versions. That version is the cookout version, which is like the light version.

Speaker 1:

And this one is the kickback.

Speaker 2:

So you see the notebook.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And I make spades-related merch also, and I call that line Cut the Deck. So I have T-shirts that say win or lose. I'm going to talk shit, let's see. Uh, what's the other one? Um, hello, my name is. I'm a recovering table flipper. Um, and my favorite, what you really want from renegas. Now, that's fun.

Speaker 1:

That's a good yo, that's a fun. Oh my God. And these? Are these shirts are on your site.

Speaker 2:

So I got yo. That's a oh my god, and these are. These shirts are on your site. So I gotta tell you, yeah, it's tdm. They're on my website they're available right now, but with um the space coach, what?

Speaker 1:

I wanted to do was again.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to give it like that. You know that throwback composition notebook type yes, I'm feeling it.

Speaker 1:

That's exactly what I saw.

Speaker 2:

I was like damn yep, that's what I did, and I had the front of it like a little like a little note.

Speaker 2:

Hold on whatever those are sick oh yeah, I designed, uh, everything myself. Um, and what I also did with the spades coach is I created a, not just the cards, but it has. It comes with a booklet. The booklet explains how the spades coach I sorry, how spades got popular within the black culture, and it also goes down the rules, breaks down how to set up your cards, and it comes with a QR code that goes to an actual tutorial video that has examples and so you can actually have homework. And because I was like sometimes it gets a little tricky when you're at the table and you don't want to, you know, have the wrong info or like ask questions, sometimes you just don't want to ask people questions, you know.

Speaker 1:

I feel like your own little secret.

Speaker 2:

But I may go with the space coach aboard, because how come nobody made a cardboard Right?

Speaker 1:

I love this.

Speaker 2:

So you can get the cards on their own or you can get the cards with the board and that's a set.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And yeah, I just wanted to do something. I want to do something good for us and I know how fun cards and games and just being around and laughing. I have so many stories within my family where I could be like yo remember that time such and such flew over the table trying to play spoons. Remember that time that y'all ran a whole Boston on the table and uncle such and such was mad about it and fell asleep in the chair still mumbling about damn Renegas. That's why you can't trust Renegas.

Speaker 1:

People have stories.

Speaker 2:

I just know that I wanted to be able to contribute something to that, or at least make something that maybe no one else thought about. Most of the time when I'm making a game, I'm like I want to see that, I want to play that, yeah 100%, and then I'm like, oh, this would be cool for everybody else. Hey y'all, my bad, I could have kept it for myself.

Speaker 1:

but hey, so from ideation to final product, what would you say? Your turnaround is it?

Speaker 2:

can take years, it has taken me years to develop games.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I say at first, when I was making games, I was a little upset about it and pretty intimidated by the turnarounds of other people in their projects. And then one day I just said to myself if you want something done fast, go to somebody else, and if you want it done right, come to me. Yes, I'm going to take my time on it.

Speaker 1:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

And thankfully people have been really paid, because it is not easy making a game. It is not just Ooh, do it, and then it's here next week and then you could just sell it wherever for $25. Incorrect, that shit is expensive. Making games is not easy. It ain't for the faint of heart. Game plan studio, where I help other black creators make their own games, whether they want it to be just a passion project, something customizable for themselves, for a special event, or if they want to take it to market, because I've learned a lot and I'm still learning more, but I'm definitely down to help. Or if someone wants a game made and they don't know how to do it, they can hire me to do it.

Speaker 1:

I love this and I started making.

Speaker 2:

YouTube games too. So that's the other thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, Okay. I saw that in the description. What the fuck is that?

Speaker 2:

So what the fuck that is is. You know how you see those YouTube videos and they have guessing games and stuff. Oh yeah, like, yeah, I make those, but I make it relative to Black culture, what? So I have games out right now. The series is called Get to Guessing and I have categories like Get to Guessing, soul Food, get to Guessing.

Speaker 1:

Black.

Speaker 2:

Sitcoms. Get to Guessing Zodiac Signs of Black Sinners. Get to Guessing Black Superheroes. I launched that one a couple months ago.

Speaker 1:

I need to see that because I'm lacking on that. What See, you learned something and you can learn something.

Speaker 2:

I made. So far. I have 20 of them. The most recent one I dropped is Get to Guessing HBCU Mascots and I made it in a and it's also in a playlist on my YouTube channel and you can pretty much play it in the background. I had families for the holidays. Let me know that they had it playing and people in the family. They would walk past the TV and they'd be like hey, I know what, and they would sit down and play. It's nice, casual, something good to have in the background.

Speaker 2:

I have it on in the background when I have game nights and when I host them in my city or if I have them at home and stuff like that. So I just wanted to make something good. And it's also a cool element to my games that my oldest son produced all the music, so I get to bring him in too, yo.

Speaker 1:

Not only are you making content for us, but getting other people involved and using their talents as well.

Speaker 2:

Yep, and I also make get to guessing game. I've just now opened up get making it to guessing games for podcasters, so if you want to play, a game exclusively for your community. You're listening to this for viewers or whatnot?

Speaker 1:

Okay, yo, you are branching out in ways that I didn't even like. I had no idea I was, cause I saw you two guys like clearly I read that wrong.

Speaker 2:

They didn't say you know you read it right, that is right oh my goodness, all right.

Speaker 1:

So I I'm gonna allow us for words. I usually I'm like on top of my shit, but you have blown me away with all this. I'm gonna just go to my list of things. Was the current mindset. We kind of talked about that also they keep us on track, because I will squirrel out on you, right so your current mindset in regards to everything that you're doing right now, how you feeling and where do you see yourself in like three to six months?

Speaker 2:

So my current mindset has been confirmed and affirmed over the past year and a half, and that is that everybody can't go, everybody can't go. I have this thing that I call the yacht party, and the yacht party signifies when I get to a certain, you know level of not necessarily success, but the yacht party is really just to like when I get to a certain level of wealth, along with alignment and success and other things that I have grown to build up.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And there's going to be some people that don't get the invite at all. There's going to be some people that pull up to the yacht party and they're going to have to be told you're not on the list. There's going to be something, but that's going to have to get left. There might be someone that I might give a little grace period of five minutes to, but everybody can't go. The yacht's only so big and everybody shouldn't go, because I realized that I was prone to even most recently I was prone to taking people on trips that they were never packed for. As hard as it is, everybody can't go and everybody isn't supposed to go.

Speaker 1:

That's another. Exactly, that is a lesson that it doesn't take time to learn it, but when you learn it it's always a good time, cause at that point you're like, all right, I don't have to take that extra baggage that might be causing me pain and strife. Nah, you can't come in this trip. I like that analogy. That's dope, yep, that I'm in this trip. I like that analogy that's dope.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that reminds me I was. I've been not struggling. I came to the realization as I grow as a person, as my values change, as I started seeing the world differently. That means I'm also noticing the behaviors of my friends. That might be not I don't want to say they're doing things wrong, but they're living in the way that I have realized. No, that ain't work for me. And yeah, you got to start letting those connections go. And I like that you give them five minutes. You're like, listen, we can talk for five minutes, but this is the rules that get on the boat. If you can't abide by those, you can't go.

Speaker 2:

Everybody can't go, can't go. Some people will get on your boat just to get drunk and throw up yes, you should have never been on the boat. You knew you would see sick. You just wanted to be in the picture. Get a green screen. Motherfucker, what are we talking about? You can't go, and sometimes you have to have somebody tell that to you because you're like, no, but they could go. No, they can't. They get too fucked up. They can't go, okay, no.

Speaker 1:

Oh shit, okay Damn. Oh man, that is funny. No, 100%. I was just thinking of two people that need to hear that.

Speaker 2:

They can't go.

Speaker 1:

And we want them to so bad sometimes. Exactly.

Speaker 2:

But if you could just not throw up, why?

Speaker 1:

you gotta throw up all the time he's like oh, it's been a week he hasn't thrown up. Oh nope, there he goes throwing up again.

Speaker 2:

Damn, you gotta go are you eating something that makes you throw up?

Speaker 1:

yes, 100% oh, you have no idea. I can't. I'm gonna hit up boss later. Go listen to section 5 through 6 and tell me who she's talking about. No, you'd be like motherfucker. All right, back on, back on.

Speaker 2:

Oh, what was the other part of that question. You said my so three to six months. Okay, in three to six months, I will be hitting my sixth year of dancing. Every day I am looking forward to hosting more game nights, having more interviews where I speak to other Black creators, artists and entrepreneurs, sharing what I do helping other people make more games. I plan on making more appearances. I started going out to more open mics, so I'm getting back on stage.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but I'm really, really excited about this June because I feel like I might be able to pull off a flash mob. This year when I had my first dance-iversary I call it. It was during the pandemic and I wanted to do a flash mob but I couldn't. So I was like, yeah, that's the end of that. And over the years, I ended up just celebrating my dance-iversaries on Twitch and stuff like that, but this year I think I could pull off a flash mob, okay.

Speaker 1:

That'll be dope.

Speaker 2:

I think I want to try to pull off. Maybe I might have two I'm thinking about maybe a virtual and an in-person. Yeah, I think I could pull off a flash mob, because I love dancing.

Speaker 1:

I was about to say I don't want to be in the flash mob, I just want one to happen around me when I'm in public and be like oh shit, I'm okay with that, don't blow me away. Yeah, I, yeah, I'm okay with that, because we need people on the sidelines.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we need good reactions. Yeah, that'll be me, and if it's planned well, which I feel like I could do, that's something that like, that's a, that's a, um, a morale booster oh yeah, you see a whole bunch of people coming together off of like and just doing something cool and I don't want to do nothing too long, like I'm not trying to be like the rockets and do a whole 15 minute set. I'm trying to get a cool two, three minutes and be about it yeah, and then out yeah.

Speaker 1:

I feel like this is a perfect segue, for me at least, to jump into lessons learned because, like I said you, you've touched a lot of things in the content creation space and I'm super interested to know what lesson have you learned that you take with you into juj's everyday life well, I definitely learned everybody can't go, that's that's true, that's been.

Speaker 2:

That has been the one that's like, but also, um, I have a lesson that I've learned and I'm taking with me forward is the importance of healing out loud, because I've been sharing my journey after finding out that I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and I've had some attempts to not be here, and I'm still here. So I tried to leave in silence, I didn't say anything to anybody, just to handle it my own, and I found that sometimes in the Black community we pride ourselves on not needing nobody.

Speaker 2:

I don't need nobody to help me do that. I don't need to talk to anybody, I don't need to. I could do it on my own, Me, me, me. And that's not healthy in a lot of cases and we don't talk about it much because as soon as we seem like we need someone, we either feel weak or are told that we're weak, or we open ourselves up to be taken advantage by someone that knows that all we want is companionship and to do this with someone which can leave us jaded, going forward Like dang. They got me again but, having had my heart shattered a year and a half ago, I am taking with me. They don't get to steal the love I have. I can still love forward. My situation and what I've come through and what happened to me doesn't get to tell me that I can't love somebody else or me. And show that so that maybe I can see myself love me one more day.

Speaker 1:

I can show somebody else.

Speaker 2:

That's another thing with my dancing. I made the commitment to start dancing after I had a mental breakdown. I had an attempt. I went to go get help and I said that going to therapy is cool. But what happens when therapy is not there and I have them thoughts again? What can I do? And I miss dancing.

Speaker 2:

I used to love dancing and I also had some negative motivators that you know. That had me dance like, okay, well, maybe if I, maybe if I dance, I might lose weight and then I'll, you know, he'll be attracted to me more, or you know whatever. But after a while it was just no, I just want to live, I just want to see if I could come back tomorrow. And I went and turned the camera on because I felt like on day four I was going to quit and I said, well, I got to do something. So if I turn the camera on and people see me and I do it enough days and they'll be like, hey, where'd you go? Someone might look for me. And in reality I was looking for me. So I said put that camera back on, show up again, try it again. And I've danced through everything, everything. There's times you could see on my videos. You can listen to the song I'm dancing to and know, okay, today's a rough day. I've cried through dancing. Sometimes I've just sat and stretched if I can't really move.

Speaker 2:

but I turn that camera on and I do something that is awesome, so I take that with me Do one thing every day that makes you happy.

Speaker 1:

One thing every day that makes you happy. I love it. That I was going to, and I'm glad you brought it up. I was going to ask you what sparked the streak of the dances, and you nailed it.

Speaker 2:

Yep, that's what did it.

Speaker 1:

Everything is happening according to plan. There was one other thing. Oh, this is just for my own benefit. Knees up. Do you have merch?

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Okay, good.

Speaker 2:

I do. I do have knees up merch, and I actually have a course on my website too for anyone that wants to start their journey. And I have all my videos. I have over two. I have 2080 videos and I um, I took my first 14 because I know I'm here now but I wanted to show people where I started. So if they're starting, they you know, they feel like, okay, she actually did it and I'm at her starting point. And I have um it comes with daily affirmations a song list of the songs that I dance to along with the bpm. So even if you don't like the song, you can find a song that you do like with the bpm and still dance with me. Um, I have a discord where you know we come. I try to have some dance events where, if we just need to free ourselves up, yeah.

Speaker 2:

What else do I have on there? I do have merch, I have dancewear.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And I am making music. Look out for Young Wifi.

Speaker 1:

What I know. My rap name is Young Wifi. You want to know why Young Wifi?

Speaker 2:

Young Wifi, give it to me why your rap name is.

Speaker 1:

Young Wi-Fi. You want to know why Young Wi-Fi?

Speaker 2:

Young Wi-Fi, because everybody want to connect to me.

Speaker 1:

Get the. You got bars too. All right, you make board games, I have bars for real. You got a goddamn park and you dance, you stream.

Speaker 2:

I have bars for real. Yeah, yeah, and I silenced myself for a while. I kept it quiet but because, honestly, I, at the time where I was quiet, I was lifting somebody else up, okay, and I and I just pushed me down and that shit's over with now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you stepping in the. Okay, absolutely Good, good, all right, we're moving right along. Words of advice I feel like this is going to be juicy, but if you can give a piece of advice to anybody and we'll keep it in regards to making either content or board games or all the amazing things that you do, who would you give a piece of advice to and what would you say to that person?

Speaker 2:

When it comes to content creating, turn the camera on. Press the fucking button. Press the button. Don't wait for shit to be perfect, don't wait for shit to be cute. Be yourself. Press the button, press the button. Make your audience your target. Your first target audience should be yourself, and your vibe will attract your tribe I told you, I told you it was going to be good.

Speaker 1:

Like you, just fucking body that it takes a while for people to realize. If you look at all of these, I'm not even saying super successful, I'm just saying successful. Like they can pay their bills, which doesn't take much. They're themselves, they're not trying to be anybody else, they are themselves. And I feel like once you're comfortable with being yourself, all of this gets more fun. Like paying content, like talking to people, networking. It's just more fun when you're you.

Speaker 2:

For sure.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you'll find. You'll definitely find your people If you are yourself there. If you pretend to be somebody else, you're going to meet people that don't know you, or you're going to meet other pretenders and I did that too, like I tried to meet other people before. But that shit don't go with none of my outfits, like being somebody else. I don't have nothing to match that shit, and I was like damn, I can't wear nothing outside. I'm just going to be stuck here Like I got to be something else. I'm going to have to be me because I got shit to match me. Okay, I'm already dressed, let's go when we going. You know what I mean? Oh shit.

Speaker 1:

I love it. Oh, yes.

Speaker 2:

I had to think about things like that because I know in so many people's lives I can speak only for my life, but hearing the experiences of others. But for my life I worked real hard to be miserable. I worked real hard to be quiet, real hard. So I look at it like how much work can I put in to be better? How much work can I put in to be happy? That's another thing I keep with me with with knees up and even with um content creation, because I've met a lot of great people.

Speaker 2:

Um, just on Twitch alone, I've met a lot of people that have been like staples and pillars and really foundational in real life and they've allowed me to be that for them and their real lives. So you're going to always find you know, there's some snakes in the grass, yeah, but when you're yourself and you're around more people that will let you be you and help you celebrate you because we don't always do that, we're our own worst critics you and help you celebrate you, because we don't always do that, we're our own worst critics. So to have other people around you in a cheer squad and you can reciprocate that, you can really be a part of something good. Care bear stare motherfucker Crime fighters. Let's go, let's go. I am your friendly neighborhood unicorn for a reason.

Speaker 1:

Oh, full circle. We brought it back and my channel.

Speaker 2:

When you come to my channel, it's called the enchanted block party okay, yeah, enchanted block party.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, all right, we're done here.

Speaker 2:

I do what I can.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna give them your body. This episode I have been like giggling, like a little punk.

Speaker 2:

I've been having so much fun and I love your streams. Yo, you be cracking me up.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes I'll just be lurking, I'm like what that's for me, that's me showing up authentically. I my content is to make people happy, like not distract from what's happening in the world, but don't dwell on that shit. Like I personally feel the what we put our attention to, what we think about, what we obsess over, is going to show up in reality. And if I can inject some happiness, some, some laughs, some smiles in there, you know that's.

Speaker 2:

I did my job exactly, and why not like exactly I? I, I come from a place where energy is flying all through the city Brooklyn, don't stop. New York, don't stop. You got energies running up under you on the subway. You got energies above you with the skyscrapers and apartments and all this other stuff. You got people rushing in and out, the streets is crowded, the taxis, don't give a fuck about your life. All of that shit. You have to really find a way to like, not only like protect your peace, because that's only one part of the puzzle, but how do you emit something else among all?

Speaker 2:

of that. That's how I knew I was different. I used to have people look at me like why do you smile so much? Because I'm alive today. I don't know, it's Tuesday, I don't know. I just felt like smiling. Why am I a bitch? I'm six.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, why is that weird? Get off me Right.

Speaker 2:

But that's how I choose to be Again, I want to be the change I want to see. So it starts here.

Speaker 1:

I say this again. I feel like not that I know I'm good at picking my guests, because what you're saying is again aligning with a lot of stuff that I've been thinking about over the past, and especially you touched on it Therapy, like talking about her feelings. I have a video coming out soon hopefully the next week that addresses that specifically for us black people. I know the stigma that would come up with, like therapy and oh, you're weak, and blah, blah, blah. I'm like we gotta erase that shit cause we are hurting ourselves because of it exactly so.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad there's other people out there that think the same and we know each other. And spoiler alert, I'm gonna tell y'all now I'm gonna. There's other people out there to think the same and we know each other. And spoiler alert, I'm going to tell y'all now. I'm going to be on your podcast Friday. I was going to say it first. I was like is he going to say it? Yeah, no, I'm going to say that shit. So if you listen to this, is it going to be on ISS Games or is it going to be on the ISSgamescom on Twitch.

Speaker 1:

Okay, check it out. I'll have links in the description and of course, I'll be blasting y'all with all that information, but I'm even more excited to do that now after having this awesome ass conversation.

Speaker 2:

I promise I can't wait.

Speaker 1:

You got games and shit and questions. I do. I'm like what, alright, alright, next section. Call to action. Tell the people where they can find your content and if you're doing anything within the next week or so and you want them to check it out, you can do whatever you want. This is the floor is yours.

Speaker 2:

Awesome. Well, yes, you can find me on pretty much every social media platform. At queen, it shall be as well as IAS games on.

Speaker 2:

Instagram, facebook X slash, twitter. Um, tick tock as well. Uh, you can find me there and I, as gamescom, spell it all out on Twitch. Uh, as Crip said, he is going to be one of my next guests on the podcast. I'm super excited. Uh, you can visit my website, wwwiasgamescom, to find out more about what I do. Purchase my games merch. Check out some of my YouTube games as well. Reach out if you're interested in creating games through my GPS program. What else am I doing? You can find me every day. I can't tell you what time, because I don't know what time I dance.

Speaker 2:

I just feel like dancing and I get to dancing, but on my Instagram, queenitshelby, I dance daily there. What else is going on? Let's see you got interviews. I'm back to roller skating. That has nothing to do with social media, but I just wanted to let y'all know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you just bragging at this point.

Speaker 2:

I mean listen. Hey, I fell, but I got back up.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, I got back up. Hey, that's all it takes.

Speaker 2:

In my 40s I got back up If you can give a.

Speaker 1:

You know what? I just went Now, jess. Six months ago I went with my daughters. We went to a skating rink and like my oldest daughter cause she's too cool, she let me, I don't want to skate. And my youngest was like I want to skate, I'm like I haven't skated in 15 years. Fuck it, let's go. And I was like, oh, I was done, but it was fun.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I went and it was so cool. I finally went to uh skate and I was really really nervous, but it was so dope.

Speaker 1:

I learned how to skate backwards a little bit, learned how to do a little two-step by this lady that was standing on the side that was super, duper nice.

Speaker 2:

It was the best. It was dope. That is awesome. It was dope Trying to think of this. Anything else I got going on upcoming. Yeah, no, that's about it, that's about it, awesome.

Speaker 1:

Well, all of your links and everything will be in the description of this podcast and, as always, if you haven't already subscribed to the podcast uploaded and unfiltered, what the fuck are you waiting for? We do this every week. This will be episode 86.

Speaker 2:

I haven't missed a week yet, because is where I'm actually healing out loud, as well as going through my shadow work journal with anyone else that wants to do shadow work or get interested about shadow work, and I'm speaking with therapists also, because I do have therapists on hand that are in the community and sharing wisdom and support. Hell yeah, and that's is the Patreon oh Queen.

Speaker 1:

Yes, gotcha, that's dope. I've been wanting to do a Patriot for a while, but I, when it comes to the, my, my self-imposed restriction is like the backend, like having that content there for people to like feel like they're getting something out of it. Um, we're working on it, but I got some ideas. You got it, true, true. Well, queen, thank you so much for doing this episode. I I'm ecstatic and I don't say this often, but I truly appreciate not only the work that you're doing, but speaking up on the things that you've gone through and showing the other side of it, like you're doing your thing. You're doing a lot of things that a lot of people would dream of, and you're doing it. You look like you're having fun, so I appreciate that.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much, I appreciate it I had a great time. Great time, hell yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's what I like to hear, as always. Y'all know what to do, protect your mental, keep creating content, and I'll see y'all in the next one, peace.