Uploaded and Unfiltered: Real Talk on Healing, Creativity, and Mindset for Black Creators

Cringe, Judged, and Posting Anyway

• Jermaine Pulliam • Season 1 • Episode 122

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 Feeling stuck? This solo episode breaks down how stuckness is just your brain’s outdated survival programming trying to keep you “safe.” Jermaine—mindset coach for Black content creators—gets real about the shift from frustration to freedom. He talks about anxiety, imposter syndrome, and how to rewire your default settings to stop second-guessing your content. You’ll hear why bonding over trauma is keeping folks small, how joy is your protest, and what to do when your people don’t get your growth. There's a reminder here: you shape the room. You shape your reality. And the only way to fail in content creation is to stop. Tune in for unfiltered honesty, mindset flips, and reminders that your content matters—even if it feels uncomfortable.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Back to another episode of Uploaded and Unfiltered. Today we have a pretty amazing episode, if I do say so myself. It's gonna be a solo episode, and today my brain has been all over the place. I started today, this morning, with a topic in mind, uh, a mindset in mind, and it is 11:51 p.m. And I have switched my entire program for the evening. So, if this is your first time here, welcome. My name is Jermaine. I am a mindset coach for black content creators, and it is my goal to get as many people who want to create content to create content because I don't believe that no one should be creating content. Everybody who has the desire to create content should, without any reservations, without any hiccups, without any stuffnesses. And it's my duty to make sure that everybody is aware of the superpower that we have and to tap into it. Now, along my mental health journey, I have come to the realization that I personally want to be a source of not only positivity, but also hope, meaning that whatever you put your mind to, you can get. And I try to provide examples of that, and I need to step more into that in regards to how I uh conduct myself in my content. I have an amazing life, I have nothing to complain about, and I believe that well, okay, let's start from the beginning. The initial talk of this episode was going to be how I have come to the point where I can see the stucknesses in everyone around me, but specifically my loved ones, and it has been hard to not try to teach them other ways or try to preach what I think in other ways. And at one point I felt uh not I don't want to say frustration, a tiny bit of hopelessness. I'm not gonna hold you. Like I keep seeing these things that are keeping us stuck, that are keeping us in this flight or flight mindset, that are keeping us anxious, and I think being anxious is one of the worst things we can be as a human, probably right after, or maybe anger is the first one. Being in an angry individual might be it, but uh yeah, like I see it, I hear it, I feel it when people are like, well, like they'll say a joke and they're like, Well, I don't mean it like this, I mean it like this because they don't want to be judged, they don't want to upset the other person because they think that the other person might think that they're being rash or being mean on purpose, and it's those moments where I never feel that because I know if I say something, I try to say what I mean, and I'm all for having a conversation. If you think that I upset you or you I said something that pissed you off or hurt your feelings, depending on who you are, I will have that conversation with you to explain, no, this is what I meant. Why would I do the opposite? But that's besides the point. So I was feeling like, oh my god, I this is gonna be the rest of my life. I keep seeing these stucknesses, I keep going into public, I keep being in spaces where I don't want to be. Like, why are you talking about this? I feel like there is a sense of I guess the easiest way for us to bond or try to get along with other humans is to mention some type of trauma or missing mention something that we don't like or mention an event and have everything mixed into it. And I believe people think they're trying to be expense or suspensive, suspenseful, wow, that's a word, or trying to add drama to their stories. And I don't think that stories that you are telling to another human being need to engage in a negativity. Now, if you're mentioning something negative to say how you flipped it, I'm all for it. I love that. But if you are just bitching to be bitching or complaining to be complaining, or remembering things that happened 15 years ago that upset you, I don't think that is beneficial to us. I don't think we grow for from having such thoughts. Now, I know a lot of people are gonna argue, well, if I'm angry about something, that means that I care. I think that's the biggest lie that they've told us. I think that's the biggest lie that we tell ourselves. Anger does not equal airing. Anger is a sign from our subconscious mind that something is off and we need to get ready to either defend ourselves or get the fuck out of Dodd. So so many things in our life would benefit much, much more if we went into those things without being angry. I always go to the kids. Like if your kid drops a glass in a kitchen and the first thing that happens is you comment them with anger. I know that's not what you want. I know if you were able to sit down for two seconds and think before you reacted, being angry is not the move that you would make. But unfortunately, that's the move that a lot of us make. So I thought I was like, man, this is just I'm just gonna have to either bite my tongue and I say shit or just stop hanging out with people or just piss people off by saying what I really feel. And then something amazing happened. I essentially saw something in my life, and I was like, man, this would be cool if we were talking about this rather than that. And that happened. And then it made me realize that I have full control over situations in my life. I can manufacture or I can create the environment that breeds the positivity that I want to see. People love talking about things that they love, but also people love talking about things they hate. So for me, how I conduct myself, how I react to people's negativity or how I react to people's excitement will fully dictate the situations that I'm in. I forgot for a brief second, half today, that I have a power, I have a strength, or I have this presence. When I'm in any room, I can draw attention and I can sway how that room feels. So rather than seeing all the negativity and just going, oh my God, uh, and like I like be the change in the world that I want to see. I can't believe I just said that out loud, but it's true. Be the change that you want to see. I want to see people be more happy. I want to see people geek out about the things that they love. I want to see people lose their mind over the most nerdiest of shit, because that joy is a joy that we need more and more in this world. That joy is pure. That joy will get you out of a funk. That joy will keep you in high spirits. And so again, it's my duty to see if we can get that joy out and more prevalent than all this red pill and misogynistic and all this bullshit that is out there that is just flooding our kids' minds with bullshit. I know I can combat that. I know I can convince other people to help me combat that. And it's not all on me. It's not on me to make sure that the scales of positive content versus negative content is equal or in my benefit of positivity. It's my duty and my pleasure, and I get the chance to do this, and I'm actually excited to help people put out that type of content. Help people realize that hey, you have a story to tell. You have an immense power inside you that you're just holding on to because you're letting imposter syndrome stop you. You're letting procrastination stop you. You're letting a thought about what other people think about you stop you, which in itself is a lie. You have no idea what the vast majority of the world thinks. And even if they did think that you were shit and you shouldn't be making content, you make that content in spite of them. I always use this as an example, but being a black man in America or being a black man in general, I know there is a large swath of people who don't fuck with me, who would rather see me die than to see me prosper. That does not stop me in my day-to-day life, and I damn sure not gonna let that stop me in creating content. There are things in my brain that I need to get out, there are things that I know other people think about but are too afraid to say, and it's on me with no fears, with no fear of being judged, no fear of being perceived, no imposter syndrome, no fear of being successful. Because I have all those strengths, it's on me to push past that icky feeling, to push past that cringy feeling, to push past that, oh my god, now everybody's gonna fuck with this. It doesn't matter. The people who need to see this, the people who need to hear these messages, or to at least have the opportunity to know that there is a different perspective that you can look at your content, your life, your emotions, your feelings. I owe it to you to let this perspective out. So that's what I'm doing. And I enjoy it. It's fun. I'm happy like I want everybody to experience the level of happiness that I have. Earlier today, my mom was joking. She was like, Oh, you don't have any cares in the world because she knows I'm just super chill. And I was like, that's not true. I have all types of cares in the world, I just don't have any worries, I don't have any stucknesses. Those are the things that keep us back or stop us from trying to reach our true potential is other people's thoughts or what we think other people were thinking. Again, we are not able to tell the future, we're not able to read minds, and even if somebody comes out the mouth and says some ill shit about us, that does not make it true. What we think about ourselves, how we see ourselves moving through this world, and how we just move in general, that is true. What we think about ourselves is what's true. I think a lot of us look for validation outside of ourselves, and that is a large problem that only causes confusion when it comes time to doing what we want in life. Maybe we have some expectations from our parents or our loved ones or our friends. They want us to be doing a certain thing, and we don't want to disappoint them. Once we get to the point where we're living for ourselves, we're not trying to appease anybody, we're not trying to make sure that somebody sees us in the best light according to their perspective. Once we get past all that bullshit, that's when the amazing stuff happens. That's when growth happens, that's when you're happy in spite of not having anything that you want out of life because you know that thing's coming. The only way to fail in content creation is to stop. And I mean stop altogether. Shout out to the homie uh Blurred Box. He we be we talk, you know, we we text, we leave voice mail, voice messages. It's a dope, dope situation. He is, I hope he doesn't mind me telling his business, but he already started it. So he uh very, very good YouTube content creator, uh amassed 10,000 followers on one of his YouTube channels, but mentioned that he is feeling, I don't want to say stuck, but he's not he's not he's not feeling it. Simple as that. Like it's just a number to him. He started making content, specifically being a streamer, because he wanted to create a sense of community. So he talked to me about starting a new YouTube channel that is focused on just that the things that he loves for the people that rock with it and creating that community that he started this whole thing for. And I could not be more behind this decision at all. For me, he hit 10,000 ones, he's going to hit it again, especially with this focus. Now he knows what works, he knows his content style, he knows what he loves to do, and he's going to put his all into this new channel, and that new channel is gonna blow up, it's gonna be amazing. That's what I want us to get to. Like, that's a hard decision to be like, I'm gonna start a new YouTube channel. But it it's not a hard decision if you take out all the negative stuff and just look at what you want to happen, what you want this to be in the end, and focus on that. What we focus on, what our mind focuses on, is what our brain attaches to and what is what we see. So we are focused on becoming better husbands, becoming better fathers, becoming better content creators. Those opportunities that arise, we will seize them and attach ourselves to them because that's what we're focused on. There's a video, and you probably have seen it, and there's been like 30 variations of this video where it's two teams: one team is in black shirts, one team's in white shirts, white teams passing the ball to each other, and the black teams passing the ball to each other. And then it asks you, how many times does a white team pass the ball to each other? And you're like, Bitch, I got this. I play Mario Party, I know this whole hide the coin under the shell and move it. I got this, and you're locked in. And at the end, he's like, How many? You say 13? He said, Yeah, 13. But did you see the dancing moon walking bear in the middle? And you're like, huh? And then of course they play it back and you see that motherfucking bear. That is science. That is how our brain works. And I don't think you understand how fucking crazy that is, but that was just a video, 15-second video. That shit happens in real life. You're walking down the streets and you have one focus, whatever that focus is for you for today, that is what your brain is going to focus in and filter the rest of the bullshit out in the world. Whatever your box that you're trying to check that you're focused on, your brain's gonna be like, got it, focus everything out unless it's dangerous. And even then, I feel like a dancing bear, a moonwalking dancing bear is dangerous. So I don't know why my brain didn't see that. But you're going to focus out things in the real world that could be beneficial to you. And when you're being positive and thinking about the things that you want, not so much a big deal. But when you're focused on things going bad, or you're worrying about your next opportunity, or you're worrying about a job interview, or you are you're just worrying. Guess what? Your brain is focused on worrying about whatever issue it is, and those shits are going to be highlighted in HD in your life. Simple as that. Once you understand that, you can then manipulate the situation in your favor. I want my channels to be monetized by the end of the year, feel what that feels like. I see what it's going to do for my family, for my life, for the people around me. Then I start seeing opportunities that allow me to gain that gold that I want. Oh, I would have never thought of this idea had I not been thinking, let me expand my content creation brain and start pulling in ideas that would be dope to do that would display what I'm trying to display. Once you are focused on what you want and not what you don't want, everything changes for you. And that is my TED talk. But no, that is a one I realize, and there's a good realization. And again, taking every situation as an opportunity to learn something, to grow, to change up how I move through this world, to change up how I operate. I am in control of whatever situation I'm in. If I wanted to go a certain way, I can make that happen. Before we get off, there was a situation. Me and my wife, we went to the Omni in Asheville. The dope ass location, hotel itself, it's alright. It's it's cool. The spa though, spa is fucking fire. So if you are in our area, go to the goddamn spa. Spa's great. But these elevated had elevators in this hotel and they were old as fuck. And they all had, I guess they're called bellhops, or the dude who presses the button for you to go upstairs. Why? I don't fucking know. But there was a total of maybe four. I think we only seen three. We've interacted with two. One, he has some personality skills. Like he was able to talk to us and not make it awkward. But one dude, super fucking creepy. The first time we got on, I was kind of tired, and we just got there and we got the creepy dude, and it was just an awkward flight up to the sixth floor, and like we weren't really talking. He was kind of making small talk, and then he would just stop and just stare at you and smile. It was the creepiest shit ever. So at one point we were like, fuck it, we're gonna take the stairs, which I did once. Uh the next time we got a dude who was better, but on the last time, I was like, No, fuck this. Like, we I I run my reality, god damn it. I'm not gonna let some dude creep me out on my anniversary with my wife. We're chilling, we're having fun. Nah, fuck that. So the next time we got in the elevator with him, I just started asking him questions and like engaging more with what he's saying than like bringing up other stuff so he would be forced to talk. And it was again, it was only six flights, but it was the it was better. I'm not gonna say it was the greatest six flights up to a room ever. No, that was it was still kind of weird. But I was able to take that situation and make it what I wanted, which was not fucking creepy. And I just need to remember that that I have that power to do that in any situation. So if I start to feel myself getting like antsy or like, oh my god, there's so much negativity in this bench, find a way to flip that shit. I'm gonna start using this as a game, I'm gonna start using this as exercise and content that if I can do this in the real world, I can definitely do it for you. And I know I can. So, with that, if you have any stucknesses that is keeping you from creating content, hit me up. Simple as that. If you have the funds to better your life, to improve your mental health, why would you not want to take that situation? I have a 90-minute session where if you have like, I just procrastinate all the time, or I'm an anxious person, we knock that shit out in that 90 minutes because anxiety, procrastination, anger, sadness, it's all things that your brain are turning on, like a security system, to get you to do something. And I help you tell your brain that certain situations that you are trying to do are not scary or not something that you need to sound the alarm for. And once we get that done, once we get that work done, you move to your goal smoothly, you move to that content smoothly because you're no longer second-guessing what you're trying to do. And I know that you're trying to do the best because you don't want any mistakes, you don't want to make any mistakes, but mistakes are how you get amazing. Mistakes are how you get better. We need to flip our idea of what making mistakes is to our favor. So if you make a mistake, that is just an opportunity for you to learn or to pivot. That does not mean you failed at the assignment, that doesn't mean you should not be a content creator, that does not mean that you should stop doing what you're doing now and go back to whatever the fuck you were doing before you started creating content. No, a mistake, a roadblock is just something for you to flip on his head and become better with. Okay? On that note, again, if you want to book a session, the link will be in the description of this podcast. If you know any other content creators and can get benefits from conversation like these and more, please share the podcast with them. Uploaded and unfiltered. I'm on every podcast, catcher of choice, believe. And if not, let me know and I will get there. But other than that, thank you for listening to me rant a little bit. Went a little longer than I thought I was gonna go, but hey, content is content, baby. Appreciate y'all. Thank y'all for listening. As always, be detrimental, keep creating content, and I'll see you in the next one. Peace.